While the weather begins to heat up around here, these tyrannical leaders have found their own ways to avoid the political heat.  From using the hear-no-evil see-no-evil tactic to covertly funding foreign terrorists to ruthlessly crushing all internal opposition, these three leaders have defined what it means to be a tyrant and in the process have given credence to the old maxim, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.”  So without further ado, here is the summary of what three men from around the world have been doing to help make the world a worse place.   

Than Shwe – Burma: The leader of Burma’s ruthless ruling military junta announced three years ago that the national capital (Rangoon) would be replaced by the new city of Naypyidaw.  Rangoon, a teaming city of millions near the coast is the nation’s economic powerhouse and the historic capital.  However, fears of – I am not kidding – a US marine invasion prompted the move the to brand new city in the middle of the jungle.  The paranoid Than Shwe felt that isolation was the best route to take and this opinion is vividly on display as the Junta continues to balk when offered foreign aid for the millions of homeless and malnutrition survivor of the recent cyclone.  

Hugo Chavez – Venezuela: The man who has waged a war of words against the US and, indeed, the entire ‘West’ at the expense of his impoverished people, had been implicated in an attempt to destabilize his neighbors in Colombia.  A couple months ago Venezuela almost went to war with Colombia after that nation aggressively target a home-grown terrorist group and drug cartel called FARC, violating Ecuador’s borders in the process.  Rumors which had been circulating for years that Chavez has funded FARC to overthrow the government of the Colombia (a US ally) received confirmation from an Interpol investigation into FARC computer files showing Chavez gave them weapons, money, and training.  Chavez’s response?  He called Interpol a “puppet” and disparaged its chief as an “idiot.” 

Robert Mugabe – Zimbabwe: Weeks after loosing the general election to the major opposition party, Mugabe and his party have declared the election instead “too close to call” and requiring a run-off.  The run-off election however, which the opposition was forced to reluctantly agree to, may not be scheduled for another year or longer.  In the meantime Mugabe and his party, which regularly bankrolls guerilla-type thugs that roam the nation, has set about killing, forcing into exile, or completely intimidating all who voted against him.  Don’t be surprised if the run-off turns out to be a resounding victory for Mugabe and an utter disaster for democracy in Africa. 

Amidst another of my extreme bouts of procrastination, I stumbled upon something truly astounding.

Please compare:

LOGO - Aww, what a cute little freckled girl!

Picture- The real Wendy. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN! Not quite what was expected.

The second picture is kind of blurry. Google it and you can see it up close and personal. You might need someone to hold your hand.

Also, the history of Wendy’s, a fine American dining establishment:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendys

Enjoy.

In an attempt to reach out to (or maybe cultivate) my enormous fan base, I had a thought.

Do you have weird questions about weird things? I am quite, quite sure you do. Is there a mysterious factoid that keeps you up at night? And obscure pop culture reference that’s on the tip of your tongue??

I know you are dying to know all of these things. So ask me! Not only am a overly qualified in the field of useless and silly information, I am also willing to look up whatever strange questions you might have in order to further procrastinate my life away. *

And this totally has nothing to do with my having writer’s block.

*Please don’t ask anything too gross or too personal. I am not a certified physician, so you should just get  yourself and whatever that weird thing  is growing on your elbow to a professional doctor.

For all of you baseball fans out there, I’m not kidding. My favorite team is now offically the Washington Nationals. No, it isn’t because of their mad baseball skills. It’s because of those charmingly oversized foam-headed presidents that frantically and awkwardly race each other all the time.

My significant other and I were watching the opening day game on Sunday. (By that I mean he was screaming at the Braves and I was rolling my eyes.) Amidst this hubbub, I saw it: The Single Most Beautiful Thing I Have Ever Seen At A Baseball Game.

I know I am a late bloomer; I am sure most of you have been slapping your knees while watching our caricatured forefathers long before my encounter. But it was love at first fall. When Jefferson bit the dust, I was hooked. When Lincoln tripped over him and ate it, I could have died a very happy woman. Lucky for me (and my room mate), we have DVR. So we proceeded to watch it over and over again (and in slow motion)– much to the dismay of my boy-thing.

I decided to YouTube this patriotic phenomena.

For your viewing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM5p7fXEL0k

I think that one is even better than the one I saw. I think Washington’s a cheater.

Spoiler alert: Go back and read the other blogs first!

Finally, it’s all over.  Emily and Melissa sold their prized cornflake on eBay for $1,350 to a Monty Kerr (TriviaMania.com) of Austin, Texas. Kerr plans to use the cornflake as part of a traveling museum of American pop culture. He plans to send someone to retrieve the flake in person.

Check out this Article from the Chicago Sun-Times:

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/856338,flake032208.article

While it is not quite as momentous as the bids for the original cornflake, I am very impressed that a legitimate bidder won the coupon for such a large sum of money. According to the article, they plan to use the money for a family vacation. Perhaps a visit to Illinois…

Copycats have been popping up. There have been other flakes shaped like Virginia and Hawaii, and a potato chip bearing the likeness of Florida. The cornflake has apparently gained somewhat of a cult following. You can purchase a fresh and stylin’ T-shirt here:

http://www.cafepress.com/dharma_gear#stickersbuttonsmagnets

I really want one. I’ll have to start saving up!

For those of you who are just tuning in (cough cough, where have you BEEN?), check out my last blog first! This one will make way more sense!

I know you have all been holding your breath, crowded around your MacBooks and stalking eBay for the results of the Great Illinois Cornflake Auction of 2008.

Well, Ebay shut it down. Before you go writing letters to your congressmen (slash women, or people), boycotting eBay, and rioting in the streets, sit back and read on:

According to Colorado’s News Leader (aka, 9News), the cereal relic violated eBay’s food policy. (Let the record show that I was unaware of such a policy.)

Ever the inquisitive mind, I called the McIntire household and spoke with Melissa McIntire, who was the official seller on eBay. She confirmed that the item was, in fact pulled. But the sisters are not deterred. They have revamped their strategy. In order to get around the rule, they have a coupon up for bid. The winner of this bid can then redeem the coupon for the treasured cornflake. According to Melissa, the current bid for the coupon is $1025. She went on to say that for them, it is not really about the money. They have received interest from all over the world, including from major media outlets such as Fox News. She said that they are just “having fun.”

My sincere hope is that somewhere out there, there is a lover of unique corn products who will be genuinely generous in his or her bidding.

For more information, you can simply google The Great Illinois Cornflake.

Here is a more recent article:

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=88423

And, a YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFtBCJAMzIU