Blacksburg Transit Bus

The UMS bus leaves Burrus Hall, Sept. 28 2019

Oh, where do I even begin here?

It’s 10 minutes before your midterm, Blacksburg weather played tricks on you and now you’re sweating profusely on a bus that’s so packed a fire marshal would faint. All of a sudden this guy on a bicycle decides it’s the perfect time to tediously load his contraption on the front of the bus as if he has no other method of transportation. Of course he had to come in right next to you and basically shove his armpit near your face. 

Blacksburg Transit is the preferred (and only) method of transportation for many of us who don’t want to pay President Timmy hundreds of our dollars for a parking pass. It has its ups and downs, its lefts and rights and plenty of stops and starts. Now, I don’t want to generalize, but that’s exactly what I am going to do here: expose all the stereotypes encountered on the BT.

The line cutter

I’m sure we have all been waiting at a bus stop with a massive crowd of like-minded people. All of us have waited patiently for the bus in a concentrated mob that, of course, embraces a “first come first serve” mentality, ready for wherever this bus will take us.

Then some scumbag — I mean “person” —  just blatantly walks past all of us right as the bus comes into the stop. Then they have the audacity to just walk onto the bus before everyone else. There they are two minutes later, sitting in an actual seat enjoying the air conditioning.

The bicyclist

The Blacksburg Transit buses come equipped with bike racks on the front ends for some strange reason. This is specifically so people who already have an adequate form of transportation can delay your departure time and take up valuable real estate. That’s like buying a hybrid car to reduce emissions, except you don’t drive it and instead have it towed by a flatbed truck everywhere you go.

The phone conversation person

What’s a better way to make everyone know you have friends than having a full volume phone conversation on the bus?

This person seems to specifically flex their social status on the bus by getting on for the sole purpose of having a phone conversation. Of course, they talk on speaker with their air pods, which is the modern equivalent to the Bluetooth ear-clip people from the late 2000s.

Armpit dude

For some odd reason, these people love to stand on the bus and grab the upper rail. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but these people seem to strategically place their armpits toward other people’s heads. Maybe one day they will understand that ungroomed armpits aren’t the sight or smell that students want to experience on their way to class.  

The awesome bus driver

They always have some cool radio show or podcast playing. They always want to make conversation with you. In fact, they’re so nice that you actually feel obligated to say “thank you” — and it makes you feel good on the inside.

The scary bus driver

They always seem a bit unsettled. These bus drivers get relatively angry when nobody is taking their backpacks off. They always seem like they are about two steps away from rage quitting the BT and leaving one of us to complete all their stops.

The party bus

Ah, freshman year. Late night shenanigans have led to your departure on a crowded bus filled with people who aren’t just on their phones. It’s a very fun experience, until you realize you have no knowledge of the bus routes and someone throws up.

The full bus

Waiting for the bus to finally arrive only to see it blast by you at the speed of sound is crushing. In fact, it’s so crushing that it made you go right back to your bed and skip the 9 a.m. you “totally wanted to go to” that day.

You may fit one of these hilarious stereotypes. Heck, I’m several of these, but I’m sure we can all laugh it off in the end, unless you’re armpit dude. Please change your ways.


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