Laptop Stickers

Photo illustration of a laptop with stickers, Jan. 17, 2018.

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the kid in front of you, entranced by the collection of stickers on the back of their MacBook? Me too. In fact, I analyze them often. Though these observations may lead to awkward encounters, it is important to note that someone’s laptop sticker can say a lot about their personality. Stickers define who you want people to see when they look at you or, well, your laptop.

Here’s a compiled list of possible sticker personalities that you may see all over campus.  

Bandie

According to the back of their laptop, these laptop owners “like music more than people.” Music is everything. In fact, there are probably a few stickers from some hip band like The 1975. If they’re a little more of the “I’m mad at my dad” rocker, there could even be some My Chemical Romance. If the laptop owner happens to play an instrument, a popular sticker could be either the treble or bass clef, or the classic “I can’t, I have rehearsal.”

The politician

These stickers include strong political statements, possibly about smashing the patriarchy or issues regarding equality or voting. The owners of these laptops appreciate the right to express their opinions and have no issue doing so. These stickers could be anything: quotes about capitalism or feminism, pro- or anti-Trump statements or the occasional American flag.

Greek life guru

These people are committed to the brotherhood or sisterhood with which they are involved. These Greek life stickers are usually very big and take up a good portion of the laptop, screaming, “You don’t know what I had to do to earn this sticker.” If it’s a sorority sticker, it’s not unusual for the enlarged stickers to be in a paisley pattern, or for there to be a few quotes about “bigs” and “littles.”

Aspiring barista

These coffee-lovers may have stickers that claim that “coffee is life” or “you don’t want to know me before coffee.” A sticker of the perfect latte art isn’t uncommon, either. It’s not unusual to see a local coffee shop’s sticker on the back of a laptop, but it’s even less unusual to see a Starbucks logo. Some people like to reference their favorite fictional coffee shop, like Central Perk from “Friends” or Luke’s from “Gilmore Girls.”

The blogger

This person really values Tumblr. Lips, old movie stars and cliche quotes make the laptop a physical screenshot of the laptop owner’s Tumblr account. There could also be a littering of “too sassy for you” stickers, or the occasional “lit.” We can’t forget about the traditional heart with the “no” inside.

The prep

Most of these stickers come from companies like Patagonia, Martha’s Vineyard or Vineyard Vines, when the owner of the laptop bought that $50 T-shirt that one time. You may also find the L.L. Bean boot or a Birkenstock sandal in the corners of the laptop. Sorority stickers may also make a strong comeback, once again taking up most of the space.

The Netflix binger

These people cover their laptops with stickers about favorite TV shows or inside jokes from shows or movies that other fellow fans would appreciate. This could be “The Office,” “Friends,” “Bob’s Burgers” or anything from the Kardashians. They may not be passing their classes, but they definitely have an A in binge-watching.

Sensory overload

These are the laptops you have to squint at to really see what is going on. There are countless stickers from countless places, so many that they are almost stacked on one another. When you look at the laptop sideways, you may notice the thick layer of piled stickers that almost acts as a protective case. Just looking at the laptop could give anyone a headache.

The zookeeper

Animals, animals, animals. Dogs, cats, hedgehogs, sloths — you name it. Animals of all kind, pasted all over the laptop. If it isn’t the physical animal that is the sticker, there’s a good chance that the laptop owner is an advocate for animal rights, pasting stickers that say “adopt don’t shop,” “save the manatees” or “save the bees.” It is highly probable that this laptop owner enjoys animals more than actual people, and probably has a sticker that says so.

That person who’s really into avocados

Avocados are considerably trendy and have been so for quite a long time. Whether the laptop owner genuinely enjoys avocados or not is a question for another time, but there’s probably a sticker somewhere on the laptop of an avocado. These stickers take the form of the traditional “holy guacamole” to the Vine reference of “it’s an avocado … thanks.”

Fitness freak

This laptop embodies someone trying to get in shape, or someone who is already in shape. These stickers can include the “I’m sorry about what I said during burpees” sticker, or the traditional “but did you die?” sticker or the harsh “no excuses.” There could also be an occasional sprinkling of the Lululemon logo.

The Redbubble addict

We all know and love Redbubble for its large array of stickers and other merchandise. It’s pretty obvious when someone gets all of their laptop decorations from Redbubble (not that that’s a bad thing). These laptops have a plethora of Redbubble originals, varying from “Stranger Things” characters or viral tweets, all the way to Vine references.

No stickers

These people either understand the essence of sophistication or they just have a lot of secrets. You’ve probably heard them say, “Why would you ruin a perfectly good laptop?”

Stickers on laptops have become an essential asset to a college student, whether it’s for pure fun or someone is actually trying to illustrate themselves on the back of a laptop. Stickers are a fun accessory that allow you to choose what you want the world to know about you.

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