The Village Bathroom

The bathroom at Phase 1 of the Villages.

Not all restrooms are created equal, and you can’t judge a room by its smell or how long you spend in it. That being said, Blacksburg has bathrooms in all shapes and sizes, so a complex review is quite impossible.

This review is only going to cover the major off-campus housing complexes in Blacksburg; those that have an abundance of units, multiple buildings and are well-recognized among students. This also excludes complexes or neighborhoods that have multiple owners or have units independently owned or controlled by multiple management companies. That would be against the scientific method. Sorry Center Street, we already know what you’re like.

I guess we never thought it would come to this, but here’s a review of the bathrooms at some of the major off-campus housing complexes around Virginia Tech.

Foxridge

Ah, Foxridge –– the kingdom in the cow pasture, the monotone village in the hills, a land of few buses. Known for its affordable rates and its location far away from campus, Foxridge is a vast community of students, all of whom I assume use the restroom on occasion.

From personal experience, Foxridge has decent bathrooms. That’s based on a personal scale though, as queen and her court might find them repulsive. Foxridge has been in Blacksburg for a while, and every strange feature about the complex tells a story, especially the strange signs. 

The balconies have signs warning of weight limits, while the bathrooms warn of leaving the fan on for too long. One can only speculate what happened in the restroom in the past.

“I like my bathroom; it has nice water pressure, but my roommate’s bathroom is horrible,” said Sarah Carey, a senior geography major who has lived in Foxridge for three years. “Her shower drips a lot, and the pressure is bad.”

Foxridge can have a fair 3/5 stars.

Terrace View

Once again based on personal experience, as in four strange semesters of residence, the bathrooms at Terrace View are, well, okay. Much like Foxridge, Terrace View indulges on the vernacular when it comes to the lavatory experience.

The showers have the water pressure of a weak bladder and the temperature control of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge –– not to “complain” about life without a mortgage.

“I wouldn’t take a bath in it,” said Sarah Richards, a sophomore creative writing major who resides at Terrace View.

Thus, another good point: Is the bathroom “bath worthy?”

Terrace View can just take my 2.5/5 stars.

The Edge

The edge of what? Sanity? The bell curve of student housing rental rates?

“The bathroom at The Edge is huge and I love it,” said Jeyein Cepillo, a junior studying industrial and systems engineering. “It’s honestly bigger than my entire dorm was in my freshman year.”

I’d take a bathroom half the size of my former Pritchard broom closet if it was bath worthy, and I don’t even like baths. Therefore, The Edge deserves it’s 4.5/5 stars.

The Village (Phase 1)

It takes a village, said once a wise man, or woman –– whomever said that.

Having been to The Village on multiple occasions, I still spend nights awake wondering why they decided to separate the sinks from the bathrooms like a cheap motel would.

Say what you want to say, but based on personal experience The Village has excellent water pressure. Sure, they charge for water in utilities, but isn’t the wonderful feeling of being in a category four hurricane worth a few extra bucks?

The Village (Phase 1) deserves its 3.5/5 stars –– points lost for the strange layout.

The Village (Phase 2)

Having never lived in either of the “villages,” I cannot attest to all of the differences between the two so-called townships. I believe the countertops are marble of some sort, which might actually be a selling point for some. 

If the builders of the second phase of The Village somehow predicted this review to appear, they sure considered my advice. The bathrooms have sinks located inside them. That’s all it really took –– lesson learned.

The Village (Phase 2) gets 3.8/5 stars for its abundant regular people bathrooms.

The Retreat

What is this place? An homage to Loudon County? Is it a “retreat” back to a beautiful countryside sprinkled with traffic and equestrians?

Whatever it is, it’s quite wonderful how the builders tried to emulate a pastel-colored ski town in the heart of Blacksburg, with an excellent view. The colors have a unique hue to them, similar to Soviet propaganda.

Marxism is quite far from the housing rates The Retreat employs, but its bathrooms are top notch –– bath worthy. Nothing to complain about here.

Yes, of course they get a generous 4.7/5.

Well, there it is –– there are many places to be but only a few places to “go.” Somebody actually managed to write a review of the bathrooms in off-campus housing complexes, which means you can go out there and pretty much accomplish anything.