Dos and Don’ts of Making Friends This Summer
Choosing to stay at Virginia Tech for the summer can be a bold move, to say the least. Most of our fellow students have returned home and many of us have found ourselves at a loss for human companionship for the next few months.
While the prospect of a friend that comes with a monthly bill and is controlled via remote control may sound rewarding to some, to most of us 17 reruns of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” and 234 Zerg colonies later, we resign to the simple biological fact that we, despite our inane stubbornness, actually need another member of the same species in some aspect of our life.
Here are a few simple steps to making human friends this summer:
1.) DO meet your neighbors. Although the Warcraft epidemic may appear to have swept across their Dorito-strewn home, and the potato cannon positioned proudly on their front porch may throw you off at first, you never know how cool your neighbors can be. You may even be as fortunate as to find yourself waking up at 5 a.m. to the familiar sound of oatmeal pies being chucked at your window. Trust me, it’s worth it to just introduce yourself, and who knows, maybe you’ll even take a liking to their pyromaniac, nudity-loving attributes.
2.) DON’T offend your coworkers — they can actually make for good friends. Speaking from personal experience, it is probably not a good idea to make any enemies on your first day of feeding broiled cow to the masses. When introducing yourself, stay clear of expressing your hatred for “sorostitutes,” racial slurs of any kind and/or exposing yourself indecently in the walk-in freezer.
3.) DO be the Facebook social-butterfly; and by butterfly I mean every time you so much as learn someone’s first name, run — don’t walk — back to your computer to Facebook them. It’s easy to forget the name of someone you encounter in person, especially if said individual is a Taco Bell employee you met the previous evening. So take advantage of the stalker network also known as Facebook and you will be able to stay in touch with people you meet everyday. Who knows, in five years down the road, you could be honoring that first meeting spot over an elegant feast of Crunchwrap Supremes, Big Beef Chalupas and Cheesy Double Decker Tacos served at your wedding reception.
4.) DON’T try to make friends with the police officer who threatens to give you a drunk in public citation after your lush-of-a-self declares to him that your BAC is higher than your GPA. I don’t even think this one needs an explanation.
5.) DON’T lock yourself in your room all day playing video games. It’s only acceptable to spend eight consecutive hours in a virtual fairy-land if you are doing so with another human. Instead of closing your door knock on the next room down and make friends with dudeface so you can combine your warrior fighting noob powers. Don’t worry, Zelda’s Twilight Princess will be out in November, and you will have plenty of time to hide away in the darkest corner of your room to ride Chocobos and raise your HP to “Level 9 — Congratulations! You’ve graduated to the shameless rank of social outcast!” — insert retainer slurping noises here.
6.) DO talk to the students in your summer classes. As you are sitting in one of your required Area 2 classes this summer, there is something more constructive you can do than daydream. Chances are the fellow student to your right is equally bored. So don’t be shy — introduce yourself.
7.) DON’T hesitate to meet people in public places like Wal-Mart. If these fellow bargain shoppers are anything like me, they actually have little reason for being there other than to evade the painfully dull silence they experience daily within the confines of their apartment. What’s that? You only have nine rolls of toilet-paper left? Better go to Wal-Mart! So go ahead and accidentally ram your cart into the Spaghettio’s display — you might attract a few helping hands and worthy comrades.
Just remember, in this lonely Blacksburg summer of 2006, that putting yourself out there every once in a while may be necessary for making new friends.
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