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Studies have shown that January is the most depressing month of the year.
A grotesque chimera of holiday credit card debt and failed New Year's resolutions grafted to a misguided war in the Middle East and a plummeting economy has unabashedly shoved the spirit of many an American into the void. Furthermore, in a mode not exclusively characteristic to Blacksburg, winter has opened its floodgates to the freezing gusts that render the Drillfield, nay, the majority of campus, an arctic tundra.
It is during these times of extreme barometric duress that I find myself sorely tempted to turn off the alarm clock and try to forget the frozen gale outside my window. My apartment, my refuge, serves as a barrier between my fragile human form and the gusts of icy tendrils that tickle the nose, chill the ears and provide the general discomfort that has made Blacksburg winters near impossible to cope with.
However, as always, I manage to scrape together the crumbs of strength required to sprint to the bus stop, and eventually to campus, where another warm building will open its centrally-heated arms to thaw my frozen soul. These brick-and-mortar havens are all that manage to keep my spirits, and possibly yours, alive during the frigid first two months of 2008. They are guardians of humanity, miniaturized planetary bodies: stationary fortresses among the vast and cold reaches of Virginia Tech's campus. If the heating system in McBryde hall suddenly goes awry, we see it in our best interest to rectify the situation as soon as possible. Discomfort is a terrible thing, after all, and we are prone to act on our malaise as soon as it rears its ugly head. We are driven to maintain our environment, our comfort zone, at all costs.
Now imagine McBryde is planet Earth, and instead of 600 people, the building is nearly full at a mere 6,000,000,000. Every single one of those people demand comfort - an environment in which they may live happy and healthy lives without the constant threat of a global breakdown. Like any building, academic or not, Earth treads a precarious balance beam of perfect temperature. Unlike most buildings, the global thermostat is slightly more difficult to adjust, and the stakes are much, much higher.
In the face of insurmountable evidence, our central heating system has failed. The hunk of rock and metal on which we reside, our paragon of celestial engineering, has fallen victim to its own occupants.
Unfettered abuse and consumption have produced untold amounts of greenhouse gases in the name of humanity, and these toxic billows have nowhere to go but up, infiltrating our planetary climate-control system. The evidence exists, the graphs have been made and millions upon millions of dollars have been exhausted to prove the one thing we as humans want to hear the most: that it's not our fault.
It seems, though, that the once-powerful movement to disprove human involvement in global warming has joined the mountain of discarded lies in humanity's past including, but not limited to, witchcraft, alchemy, the positive effects of cigarettes and functional democracy. Yes, there are still people who believe in witches, but those people are idiots.
We caused this, ladies and gentlemen. Since the industrial revolution, the global quantity of atmospheric carbon dioxide has done nothing short of going ballistic. We may never be able to prove causation, but the correlation here is blaringly obvious.
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Here Here. Who are those genius coordinators anyway? LETS FOCUS THE NATION!
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To quote Glenn Reynolds, I'll start taking global warming seriously when the people telling me I should take it seriously start acting like they take it seriously. How is it that so many accept as gospel the Gore-acle's mantra that a gas critical to all life on Earth is a pollutant? Perhaps all those environmentalists moaning about the evil human race's CO2 emmissions should hold their breath so that they can stop producing this evil gas. Wake up, folks, this planet has been much warmer in the past. That's why Greenland is so named, and why they used to have vineyards in England. The warm periods in human history were times of plenty. The cold spells were times of famine and disease. And guess what? Back when Greenland was free of its icecap and the North Pole had no summer icepack, polar bears did just fine. Is it getting warmer? So what? Adapt, it's what humans do best. And lots of studies out there show the animals do it pretty well, too. Some rich liberals might lose a few inches of beachfront, but we're not all gonna die. Canada and other northern countries might get a longer growing season, and folks in Phoenix might have to give up their green lawn, but even that's pure speculation. And how about the comment in paragraph 8 about CO2 - "We may never be able to prove causation, but the correlation here is blaringly obvious." There's a strong corellation, so it's true!! And the use of stretlights causes darkness!! It always gets dark about the time they come on, even though the time they come on changes!!! Dig a little deeper, people. Follow the money, and you'll find the root of the global warming movement. And it ain't Exxon.
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very well written if i say so myself....
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To Mike M., I like what you've said here. I do give the author some credit for at least pointing out the difference between cause and correlation, which is more than I've come to expect from most people these days. My favorite quote on the issue remains that of NASA director Dr. Michael Griffin: "I have no doubt that global -- that a trend of global warming exists. I am not sure that it is fair to say that it is a problem we must wrestle with. To assume that it is a problem is to assume that the state of earth's climate today is the optimal climate, the best climate that we could have or ever have had and that we need to take steps to make sure that it doesn't change. First of all, I don't think it's within the power of human beings to assure that the climate does not change, as millions of years of history have shown, and second of all, I guess I would ask which human beings - where and when - are to be accorded the privilege of deciding that this particular climate that we have right here today, right now is the best climate for all other human beings. I think that's a rather arrogant position for people to take." On the other hand, I do also agree with something a friend pointed out to me: perhaps the climate change itself is not cause for alarm, but the seemingly accelerated rate at which it is occurring just might be worth further investigation.
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I'm not usually one for tounge-in-cheek responses, but I've been sick the last couple days so I'm a little on edge. The fastest way to curb global warming is to use CFCs whcih deplete the ozone layer, thus redicing the ability of the Earth to retain heat and driving the temperature downward.
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