Collegiate Times

Heidi Miller started teaching elementary school children after the events of April 16.

I just hope for and work toward making my life as balanced as I can. Making sure I don't forget the beauty of the small things, recognizing that hard times do come and they can weigh down your life, but just as we've had to keep going since that cold day last April, if you keep pressing on, you will eventually find that precious balance that maybe equates to normal.

I decided to write this myself because so often I am asked to share my story and this seemed like the easiest way to do in some ways, because I could just tell and show my story. Tell it in my words, which convey the beauty that is my life right now and how I appreciate so much more than I used to, but also how I don't have it all figured out, I'm not perfect; my life is far from conventional, but that it all hasn't stopped me from continuing.

I'm still confused at times, overwhelmed and worried about how my past will define my future, but what can you do? We all have a story from that day, the story of our entire lives, and the stories from difficult times behind and before us. To me there is no such thing as moving on or getting over it.

Maybe, however, there is the idea that you can find some peace somehow, and find a new normal that doesn't mean that everything is OK and right with the world, but rather that you achieve a new balance.

We have reached the one-year anniversary.

I'm still not over it, though time does help heal some of the wounds, I would rather look at it as moving forward rather than moving on. Moving forward means that I've kept on going somehow despite the circumstances. I will never forget and it will still hurt on some days.

But just as on that day, when the evil of one person was met with the goodness of millions, the beauty of the love and compassion that came out of it were able to help me keep on going.

I trust that that will ring true for all future events, good or bad, which may take place in my life. This will always be a huge chapter in my life, but I know that I can look back on it in one sense and appreciate and draw strength from my own ability to continue living my life but also how our community has remained strong.

There will never be a justifiable reason for tragedy, but I guess what I've come to hope is that with each passing day we can all find a little more peace than the days before.

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