Sometimes I wonder when it will happen to me -- when I'll get the urge to delete my Facebook account and embrace the world as an independent creature.
I used to think I'd be 22 years old and recently graduated, or maybe 26 and settled in a career. But as I see wedding engagement notifications and view baby pictures on Facebook, I've begun to think that day may never come. We may be on Facebook for life.
First of all, I know that's dramatic. No one is forced to have a Facebook at any age. But you have to admit that having one is undeniably convenient. It helps us learn what's going on around campus, plan events and keep in touch with our friends and family, from down the street to around the world.
Some companies are actually beginning to require their employees sign up for Facebook accounts as a way of sharing information and scheduling events. Therefore, having one may not be a choice for some of us one day.
Basically, as we graduate from college and separate ourselves once again from people we care about, Facebook will become even more important to us. And many people will want to keep their accounts as an easy way to contact these people.
Despite all the conveniences Facebook brings, I wonder whether our extended lives on Facebook will be a good or bad thing. As entertaining as it can be to track the actions of everyone we know, do we really want that kind of access to our high-school acquaintances for the rest of our lives? How much should we really care?
If you think about it, this problem is unique to our generation. When our parents grew up, if they broke off a college relationship or moved away from home in high school, that was the end of it. They moved on to new love and new friends. They didn't have to deal with everyone asking why their relationship status changed on Facebook or watch with envy as their friends from home continue their lives without them.
Typical life changes were still hard, but maybe made easier without constant reminders of what they didn't have.
Today, that's nearly impossible. Thanks to Facebook, "out of sight, out of mind" no longer exists. Nothing is out of sight, so nothing is out of mind. We're tortured by our own curiosity to dig up every possible detail on those we care about.
It seems harmless now, but think about what it will be like in 20 years. Will we be logging onto Facebook to see whether that guy we couldn't stand from high school is making more money than us? Will it be the latest gossip if your marriage fails? How much time will we waste keeping up with all of it?
Knowing such details may not be the reason we keep our accounts, but the comparisons we'll make are unavoidable.
I'm afraid Facebook of the future will take our focus off of things that matter -- our families, our jobs, our own accomplishments. I'm afraid it will take us from innocently following the actions of our friends to constantly and unnecessarily worrying if we measure up to others. Of course we should make the effort to keep in touch with those that matter, but we shouldn't fret over those who don't.
The reason this issue is worth pondering is because we already face pressures to have certain experiences at specific points in our lives. We should all graduate college in four or five years. We should all have a job or graduate school lined up. We should all get married and have kids before we're 35.
Of course that's not always how it works, and that's not always what people want. But for those who want those things and haven't found them, will constantly evaluating themselves against others be helpful? Will it make dealing with these pressures easier? Certainly not.
For example, if I'm 38 and unmarried, I can't honestly say I'd get pure joy out of seeing a constant flow of pictures from my college acquaintances tying the knot. As much as I'd want to be happy, I'd be even happier without the overwhelming feeling that everyone else has what I've always wished for.
To be fair, I know that we don't ever have to look at anyone's Facebook besides our own. We don't even need to have one at all. And we may never have to.
But it's something worth thinking about if you do have one and don't see yourself deleting it. Because if we keep our Facebooks after we graduate college, we'll inevitably be bringing many aspects of college with us. And I think we should make a conscious effort to only bring as much as we're willing to carry.