Collegiate Times

He said:

This article will most likely offend people who properly budget, manage and control the ebb and flow of their money. I also will assume that these same people are not in college. Nor have they ever played a game of bar golf. (Bar golf, to clarify, is a game in which 18 bars are selected in one night, and players must hit all of these bars in order to beat the game or score a hole in one or whatever. Also, they must be dressed as though they are about to play golf. This doesn't mean you have to like golf to play bar golf because if you like golf that must mean that baseball is too exciting and falling asleep standing up feels like NASCAR.)

Bar golf is a perfect example of an event where a college student's money can suddenly disappear. Their locations -- bars -- are one of the standard college spending vices. These money suck-holes are part of an appetite unique to the college student. If they weren't here then you would just have -- well, school. Imagine a world in which all that was bought was tuition, housing and food? College would be just, well, real life. Definitely not college. The subjects of the stories that would perpetuate after the weekend would have exciting details mostly about a fun new spinach fondue you bought or what book club you liked best during the weekend book club marathon. It's true -- we would probably get a lot more done, such as reading something other than the books for class or maybe even building something not made solely of beer cans. But how could we have fun?

Bars are the first real temptation in what could be called adult spending, the red Jack-Daniels-filled apple that will have you wearing a leaf and talking to God by the end of the night. It is something that adults will still spend money on once the more atypical types of college spending fade away. Whatever do I mean by atypical types of college spending? Consider: Halloween, when you were standing in the middle of Kids 'R Us staring at a children's baby tiger costume trying to decide if maybe you wore it bib style with jeans and a T-shirt underneath it, would it be perfect for you? Or the hours spent with your roommates at Home Depot trying to figure out the recipe for the ultimate beer pong table. These are the type of things that will disappear when words such as "mortgage" replace "golf pros and tennis hoes."

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