He said:
Every Virginia Tech student can remember the first twinge of pride that crept into them with their initial and more importantly, independent, first couple of runs to Kroger as a freshman. No more would they be in the awful dilemma of having to pick food out when accompanied by any type of parental unit. Gone are the days when, with every selection of some particularly juicy item, your parents would remind you of every reason that the piece of food selected will ruin your life.
Their phrases would evolve into the mantras that echoed throughout your childhood: "Are there vegetables in this?" or "Where's the diet version?" Which, by the way, is why I drank Diet Coke for the first decade and change of my life, which tastes like Coke with a rusted nail dissolved in it. When I first started to drink regular Coke, I felt the same sense of rebellion as getting my first Eminem CD (any CDs of his were vehemently banned in my home). I still cannot describe to you what it is that I taste when I drink Coke, but it is one delicious collection of bubbles. Also, I decided the other day that Mountain Dew tastes like the green lollipops you can get at banks.
When all the choices are left up to college students, the strange period that we are currently living through - that space between adult and child - can easily be perceived when people put out all of their choices on the conveyor belt at check out. Chicken nuggets get piled on top of fat-free yogurt, fruit rollups rub up against vats of cottage cheese.
On average, guys tend to lean more toward the childhood aspect of selecting food. It's hard to be walking down the various aisles of the grocery store one day and realize that you don't know how to cook food outside of what tastes delicious in less than two minutes and comes out of a microwave. You can imagine my joy when I figured out how much more delicious Ramen tastes when you boil it, but my grocery shopping is really affected by the fact that I don't know how to cook anything. Sure, that could all change if I visited a few Web sites, but should another guy find my Web site history, and I wasn't looking at recipes that involved either beer or setting something on fire, it could seriously affect my status as retaining a set of XY chromosomes.
Personally, I spend the most time in the grocery store staring at the possible opportunities in the candy aisle. That is probably the most important part of any trip to the grocery store. It is a precise procedure that takes careful consideration; your mood as well as your future mood must be reflected in the candy you choose. But, it's really not that far outside of what most guys eat anyway. What's the real difference between some Sour Skittles and a Pop Tart? One is part of a balanced breakfast. That was until I turned 21, and then the size of the grocery store got a little bit larger. It was amazing to finally walk down the beer aisle and not have to look at the selections as more of a gallery than anything else.
Females generally have a healthier diet and at the store, they walk around with small gardens in their carts. At the same time, if you squint hard enough, you can spot the layer of bright, multicolored boxes full of whole meals the size of a Snickers lurking beneath the normal healthy food. These processed treats are the quirky part of a woman's diet, as most guys will eat anything fried, grilled or nuked; girls will eat some things guys might not be able to identify as food, but rather as more of a failed science experiment.
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Trying to say there is something not masculine about cooking? You just enjoy your heart attack in a cup soup and I'll enjoy my grilled venison heart marinaded in a little Shiraz or a Zinfandel and some chocolate moose for dessert!
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mousse, my apologies for that
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Cooking is woman's responsibility, grilling is a man's job but I must say John your dinner sounds bad and your desert feminine. Hearts are fried not grilled and you don't ruin them with cheap new world wines. In fact wine should never be something you use when grilling food. The wine and the dessert do not help your argument about masculine cooking much, I got to say it's kind of ironic and amusing. Plus I don't know if have ever had heart but it can be a very tough meat if it is not prepared properly and even then its bad I usually just them out when I gut a deer.
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No John, there is absolutely nothing masculine about cooking. The only reason a man should ever cook is for basic hunger needs, or to cook a meal for a lady friend to appear sensitive and sophisticated with the real goal of fornication at the conclusion. You on the other hand, are probably a theatre major who takes daily trips in your yellow VW bug to pick up some extra edgy spices so you can return home and cook in your boxers while blasting mariah carey.
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Well Mr. Anonymous, both of you, heart is a very good meat if done properly, the alcohol in the wine acts as a natural meat tenderizer and there is something, i don't know, savage about eating a heart. As for anonymous 2 I would just call you ignorant because anyone driving a yellow VW bug would never eat an once frolicking animal let alone its heart, granted I drive a black CRV and not a gas guzzling truck so you can knock me for that. And again for your correction I'm an engineering major who along with cooking has a hobby of collecting firearms so pick your enemies wisely. I say congratulations on making yourself look like the stereotypical alpha male who because of all the self fulfillment to your lower regions you have cut of the blood supply to your head inhibiting your ability for rational and intelligent thought
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You are so desperate to appear masculine John, it's laughable. Even your writing style is feminine. I think your gun collection might be compensating for something.
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Also way to wait until you think we've stopped checking to respond that's brave.
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Anonymous 1 again, John I was thinking about it and I was wondering how do you get a deer heart this far out of season. Your story seems less plausible the more I think about it unless you got it from a poacher out of season or eat roadkill. I never store deer meat this long I usually eat it all by February with the exception of the jerky.
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You drive a Honda John, for shame. You try and make yourself sound like a true American male but you drive a rice burner. Buy American or go live in Japan traitor.
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Where to start, well I would buy american, except american cars break down, don't believe me? Then why back home are there about 10 dealerships in a 4 mile area but the closest Chevy dealer is 35 miles away? I usually freeze my deer meat so it can last a while, not to mention the fact that when I brought it up and when I cooked it there could have been a time lapse. I stopped checking cause I usually don't like speaking retard, and the gun collection, say what you want, I'll be at the range if you have the balls to come find me there
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Wow John way to wait almost 5 months before you responded, I had figured you had moved on by now. John your argument doesn't make any sense, dealership locations have nothing to do with a vehicles reliability. I'm driving the same Chevy I've had for 6 years now. I had a friend buy a Honda around the same time, he's on to his third vehicle and my Chevy runs like the day I bought it. John you can keep threatening to shoot me all you want, I'm not the least bit impressed with the threat. It makes you a hypocrite though, you argue on every anti-gun opinion piece how responsible you are as a gun owner, yet because you can't win an argument you're threatening my life. You're a bully John, you threaten because you can't think. Thankfully I have the anonymity of the internet on my side, so I don't have to worry about simple minded lunatics coming after me just because the lost a debate.
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Oh and I hope you won't wait so long to respond next time. I'm not going anywhere John, so don't think you can win the argument by waiting me out until I've lost interest and then make a post.
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It's ironic that someone who said "I'll be at the range if you have the balls to come find me there," is too big of a coward to respond to my posts. You won't argue until you're sure I'm gone and then you take a couple cheap shots and hope I'm not coming back to see what you said. Even when you do respond you challenge me to confront you when you have a gun, because you're too big of a wuss to just talk to me unarmed in real life. You're actions alone disprove the arguments you've made for the masculinity of cooking. I look forward to your reply John when you finally summon the courage to respond.
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