Collegiate Times

HE SAID:

Things to consider before reading this article: To figure out what to write about this article, I went through my Facebook friends, scrolled down and tried to figure out what it is I don't like about certain people. This has made me feel like a slightly awful person. I didn't realize that disdain had a homepage. Now please enjoy my article.

For about the last year and a half I have lived with three girls. They are all very lovely people. They're neat, they have a tendency to spontaneously make baked goods magically appear, and at one point they started this game where whenever I would enter the room they would start clapping (not a joke, it's awesome).

But, being in this never-ending and tripled exposure to the opposite sex has really helped me to understand what it is I'm looking for in someone and what forces me to lose all interest.

Most of the time, encountering a deal breaker is just on the negative end of your preferences. You don't want someone who lives too far away, has a high pitched voice or thinks "like" is a synonym for every other word in the English language, and a lot of these qualities tend to never surface just based on the people you surround yourself with and are generally interested in.

However, the worst part about deal breaking is when it sneaks up on you and karate chops your attraction into little pieces of awkwardness that ends up looking like a conversation you no longer want anything to do with. At this point, the conversation really holds no honest value. Like my parents said to me when my high school band broke up, "It's over; let the dream die. Go to college."

One of the big deal breakers for me is girls who like shitty music. The inclusion of the word shitty is important because it draws a fine line between girls who might just listen to whatever is on and girls who actively seek out music which lacks any semblance of a soul. You are what you listen to, and when it comes to girls who listen to crappy music that makes you unoriginal and nothing new. Maybe that's harsh. It more makes you a 14-year-old girl in my eyes and that's a felony.

It's not so much that I judge what a girl listens to, nor would I immediately dismiss someone solely based off the music that they listen to; it's just that a frequent barrage of crappy music will make me start frothing at the mouth. I can also only really talk about a few things for longer than two minutes, and chief among those things are music, Star Wars and the intricacies of Super Smash Brothers. I know, eat your heart out ladies. So if a girl can only list her favorite tracks off of the OC Soundtrack when talking about her favorite albums, we might be in trouble. (I mention the OC because TV shows are a semi-deal breaker. They're not that bad because they're infrequent and can't leave one room, but my roommates have been on a recent OC binge, and I have heard parts of the show because my room is right next to the TV. That show is terrible - it is so goddamn depressing to live in the OC. How did it go on for so long when any normal human being in that show would have off'ed themselves by the start of the second season?)

Chattiness is another deal breaker of mine. I hate needless conversation and some girls can rattle syllables out of their mouth with incredible speed, but never actually say anything substantial. It's like being around a drunk person or going to one of my English classes.

Deal breakers are a good defense for potentially damning relationships. They are a buffer that protects a person from waking up one day and realizing that they got the short end of a lifelong bargain.

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