Collegiate Times

Gracing today's front page are two forces causing a giant ruckus on college campuses across America: swine flu and Tucker Max.

Hopefully, neither will prove to be of much historical importance, but while they are topics of conversation, similarities can be drawn between the two. These two ostensibly unrelated entities may be more alike than they seem. Observe:

Firstly, we have some evidence that each originated from our four-legged friend Sus domestica, also known as the pig. It is a frightening wonder how these lovable creatures produced H1N1 and Max.

Secondly, both spread rapidly across college campuses. The fact that young adults between the ages of 18 and 25 are most affected puts us all at risk.

Thirdly, both have the potential to make you severely ill.

Last but not least, they are both easily avoidable.

For swine flu, it's a matter of washing your hands diligently and being aware of your body. Rest up for a healthy immune system. Plan ahead to budget homework and other commitments to keep stress low. And don't forget: Just because swine flu is all the rage, there are many other diseases out there.

If you begin to feel sick, go straight to Schiffert and consider taking a day off. Missing classes may not always be appealing, but your classmates won't appreciate a contagious illness.

As for Max, if you're offended by his raunchy humor, avoid exposure. Complaining about him won't make him go away any faster; he's an entertainer and the more controversy he stirs up, the longer he'll be around. Most importantly, respect people's right to find him amusing.

Our last piece of advice: Wash your hands after coming in contact with either.

The editorial board consists of Debra Houchins, Peter Velz, Bethany Buchanan and Sara Mitchell.