Collegiate Times

A group consisting of some of the greatest minds in the world met in Denver on Saturday. This elite group, known as the "Major Cities Chiefs Association," is comprised of police chiefs from the largest 63 departments in Canada and the United States.

Together this group of brilliant men and women endorsed an anti-terrorism community awareness program called iWatch. The nationwide initiative is the brainchild of Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton, in cooperation with police Cmdr. Joan McNamara.

No, iWatch is not some new Apple super-product coming to stores this fall. Instead, this hiply-named initiative is designed to help everyday Americans in their constant efforts to help law enforcement thwart the threat of terrorism.

The official Web site for the iWatch program (lapdonline.org/iwatchla) lists nine "suspicious behaviors" that citizens should watch out for if they are to remain vigilant against terrorism. Included in the list are "people drawing or measuring important buildings," "strangers asking questions about security or building security procedures" and "a person wearing clothes that are too big and too hot for the weather."

Among the other things to keep an eye out for are incorrectly parked cars, briefcases left in open areas and other scenes from the television show "24" on Fox.

If you see anyone doing these or any of the other six terrorist-y things listed on the iWatch Web site, please do not hesitate to call federal law enforcement agents immediately. Terrorism is a very serious issue that should never be taken lightly.

It's important that every American is aware of all nine of these very important warning signs. Tell your friends and family. Instead of linking them to a video of a silly YouTube puppy, perhaps you could create a scary video that talks about the very important iWatch program.

Perhaps starting your video with the iWatch slogan will get your friends motivated: "iWatch, iReport, i Keep Us Safe." I love it. It makes me feel like someone who is very important - a secret agent, perhaps. I love being a secret agent.

Your friends and family will love being secret agents, too. Secret agents certainly get all the hot ladies. This iWatch stuff is way better than playing a video game.

There hasn't been a terrorist attack in the U.S. in a very long time. Our friends and family are forgetting what it's like to be afraid of their neighbors. We need to bring that fear back if we are ever to survive as a nation.

Everyone needs to remain vigilant if we are to stop a second Sept. 11 from occurring. When you pass a man on a bench sketching the beautiful building in front of him, perhaps it's best to just assume he's a terrorist. But how do you know? After all, we don't want to waste government resources by having too many false calls. Those secret tribunals are very busy already.

Hopefully a building drawing ban will soon be in the works. (They have no good reason to be drawing in public anyway.) Until then, I propose that you simply racially profile every person doing any suspicious activity.

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