Collegiate Times

“It takes a couple of months for people to realize that they hate their roommate,” he said.

Phillips sees roughly 30 students each year who want to get out of their lease because of roommate conflicts. However, a lease can only be terminated on rare occasions. In order for the lease to end legally, the property must be condemned, the tenant must join the military, or there has to be a zoning violation with the house. Essentially, it’s impossible to terminate a lease, and roommates must find ways to compromise.

The most common roommate conflicts are over cleanliness, paying rent, partying, guests staying the night and pets, said Kate Balfour, an alumnus and manager of the Virginia Tech Off Campus Office.

She said that it’s not always possible to iron out differences before you begin living together.

“You don’t know what it’s like until you’re living with person,” Balfour said. “I’ve lost friends over it.”

Ashley Estes, a senior communications and French double major, had a bad living experience with a roommate last year, which she attributed to not meeting her roommate before they started living together.

“I didn’t meet her before because I was going abroad for the summer and needed a roommate as soon as possible,” Estes said. “I only talked to her on the phone. That was my mistake.”

Estes is now living with a new roommate after meeting met with her in person a few times and asking her general questions about her living habits. Estes said they get along really well.

“I love my roommate now, but last year was bad,” Estes said. “It’s totally hit or miss.”

Balfour agreed that when you are searching for roommates, you need to meet in person. Finding individuals who share your lifestyle and have similar study and social habits is key.

“You need to think about these things from the beginning,” Balfour said.

Although you can be proactive in trying to avoid roommate disputes, you also should tackle problems before they escalate.

“Nip it in the bud,” she said. “Or else you’ll lose sight and have no hope of resolving anything.”

Balfour also advised that roommates consider what’s really worth getting upset over.

“Try to avoid big blowup situations. If it’s not really a big deal, let it go,” Balfour said. “Picking and choosing your battles is a big one.”

Phillips said most of the problems he sees stem from social issues and that roommate discord can end friendships permanently.

“They were great friends, but only when they weren’t living together,” Phillips said. “Sometimes it’s great to be living with strangers because you expect less from them.”

Like Balfour, he said many issues arise from differences in cleanliness. He said that having significant others spend the night often causes trouble.

Phillips said that many times the roommate’s boyfriend or girlfriend will use utilities, do laundry, and even spend more time there than at their own apartment, which may cause dissention when it comes to paying rent equally.

To resolve issues, Phillips recommended going to him to mediate issues, visiting the Office for Equity and Inclusion which has a mediation and conflict resolution department, or consulting Better Agreements Inc., a non-profit agency that mediates problems for New River Valley residents.

To combat roommate conflicts before they begin, Phillips has complied a nine-page roommate agreement document that details everything he thinks could be a potential issue amongst residents. Anyone interested in obtaining a copy of the document can pick it up at his office.

Students can amend the document as they see fit to include their own rules.

If you simply cannot reach a solution with your roommate, you can move out, but only if you are able to find someone to sublease, as it’s virtually impossible to terminate your lease legally, Phillips said.

While there are many different ways to solve a problem, it never hurts to let the small things go.

Phillips said, “I’ve had people who fight over the thermostat setting.”

lenise phillips contributed to this story