Collegiate Times

She said: Crying keeps you from going crazy

Caught in conversation with a friend regarding his roommate’s dating situation, he very candidly put forth his opinion. “Well, I think his girlfriend’s crazy,” my friend said. “I mean, she just suddenly became a crier. She cries over everything now.”

When a girl cries, it means she's crazy? I might consider that statement as a fact if I wanted to talk about that “token crying girl” you always see downtown, so drunk and ridiculous that you wonder if she's secretly on some reality show. But really, most tears don't happen like that.

What some people don’t understand is that sometimes, there's a definite need to cry. Crying doesn’t completely hinge on mental illness.

There are plenty of good reasons to weep and wail — and not be considered crazy.

My most intense bout of unhappy crying happened after getting home from vacation, only to find every single fish in my marine tank — and my prized pet shrimp, Dr. Brain — stone-cold dead. That’s a pretty good reason to get out the Kleenex. (Not to mention I lost hundreds of dollars because of the Great Tank Disaster of 2009.)

When a pet dies, it’s a given that you’ll cry — even if you have tear ducts made of steel. Whether it’s your childhood cat Fluffy, your smelly dog Fido or a dumb crustacean, you can’t simply dismiss the loss of your pet and hold back the sobs. How can you not be lachrymose when losing unconditional love?

Now, on the other hand, breaking up with someone is losing not-so-unconditional love, but it is still another legitimate excuse to cry. Your feelings — and your pride — are suffering during that awkward “let's talk” conversation, and of course you're going to feel pretty rotten. And after the ordeal is over, you can crawl into your container of Chunky Monkey and mourn fully. It's OK. Everyone has been to that ugly post-dumping place and has probably done the exact same thing. You can't be labeled crazy for crying in that situation.

But during the break up, the worst circumstance to happen occurs very rarely: the guy starts crying. Yes, it's an emotional time for him, too, but women aren't used to seeing their man-things break down emotionally. A man tearing up will easily send even non-weepy women into a fit of blubbering.

For me, a crying man has often gotten me to stay in a relationship completely out of pity. Ladies — don't be fooled. His sensitive side isn't sensitive enough for him to stop flirting with his ex on Facebook.

And even if your pets are still kicking and your relationship (or lack thereof) is going great, sometimes stress alone is enough to send you into hysterics. Most professors have the uncanny ability to make all their major projects due in the same three-day span of time — and though you know you're brilliant, you're just swamped. Add on top of that your extracurricular activities, cruddy job, career search and grad school applications, who wouldn't find themselves crying out of sheer frustration?

So why cry at all? Yeah, sure, something is sad or aggravating, but is it really worth it to mess up your mascara?

The answer, of course, is a heartfelt, resounding “yes.”

Punch a teddy bear and scream into your pillow. Rip up all his old photographs and “lose” his CDs you've borrowed. Curse the day you decided to take that class, and write a string of obscenities at the bottom of a paper you've been working on for hours. Or just sit in the dark and take a moment for yourself.

And do all these things while crying. Let me tell you, it's the best stress relief out there. Why? Because your life can't get any worse than that moment where you're sobbing uncontrollably like a preteen girl.

So screw the phrase, “big girls don't cry.” That's the worst piece of advice ever hashed out by the radio. In fact, it's a good thing to get your waterworks flowing, because crying doesn't make you crazy — but it can definitely keep you from going there.

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