Without encroaching on the “He said, she said” column, I would like to explain something about men that most women do not know. Men are stereotypically kind of stupid, football-obsessed and completely driven by the need to get laid. This is a very crude description of a man, but there is a trait that always remains unmentioned. The trait that most women will be shocked to learn about is that inside every man is a great writer and philosopher.
If you are a woman and do not believe this, I understand. There are as many stupid women as there are stupid men — and there are a lot of stupid men. What I say is true. Most men are capable of writing magnificent poetry, thought-provoking philosophy and sidesplitting jokes. Here at Virginia Tech, there is a great deal of evidence to back me up.
The men’s bathroom on the second floor of McBryde is all the proof in the world I need to support this claim. First of all, it’s not just a “men’s room” as most signs would lead one to believe. It’s the “X-Men’s” room. Some collegiate-level Stan Lee added the “X-” to the front of the door. Hilarious.
Now for the men who are reading this, please bear with me as I explain to the females what our public facilities look like. Unlike the women’s restroom, which has sofas, plasma screen televisions playing opera music on a continuous loop and an omelet bar, the men’s room is fairly more pedestrian. Nothing more than sinks, stalls and urinals. It is in these plain looking, foul-smelling stalls where the works of today’s Kafkas can be found.
The last stall in the second floor men’s room in McBryde is known as “the counseling stall.” This is where many disillusioned young men come to think about their problems. The wall to one’s left while sitting on the toilet of this stall is a fantastic mural of ideas and opinions from the mind of the average male student.
The name of the stall is written in pencil as “The counseling stall, need advice write down your problem and you will get an a—hole and a nice response.” The majority of real questions have either been smudged beyond recognition or are far too personal for me to share in this column. I cannot, in good conscience, expose the outpourings of the hearts of men.
However, I can in good conscience share some of the advice and counter-advice given to those individuals.
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