Collegiate Times

Even with Halloween right around the corner, many Hokies likely still have no idea what they will be frolicking down Main Street dressed as this weekend. For those who still are in a Halloween costume pinch, here are a few final suggestions.

Toilet Paper: Hit a brown note over this vile costume

Fact: Everyone likes the funny girl. Fact: Even if you don’t want to admit it, everyone laughs at a good poop joke. Do the math and watch your legs divide as your popularity multiplies.

You will need:
Tube dress (see Fruit Roll-Ups)
Toilet paper
Safety pins
Packing tape
Brown, yellow or red paint optional

How To:
While wearing a tube dress, wrap toilet paper around yourself until you are covered completely. Pin in place and use tape if necessary. Paint faint streaks of brown, yellow, red or all three for a particularly foul touch.

Baked Potato: Butter up to this warm pocket of grease

Off the wall costume or a college girl’s dream? The baked potato costume offers a cozy reflective shell ideal for strobe light grinding and spur of the moment tanning. What more could a costume offer?

You will need:
Tube dress (see Fruit Roll-Ups)
Aluminum foil
Packing tape
Yellow card stock

How-to:
Slip on tube dress and wrap yourself in aluminum foil several times. Tape or pin in place. Cut butter shape out of card stock and wear as necklace, glue it to a headband, or nestle it between your steamy crevices.

Fruit Roll-Ups: Sweet and sticky without the mess of a gusher

I’m always intrigued by the girls who find ways to sex-ify my favorite childhood memories. Nothing is off limits to them as they tarnish fairy tales, television shows and herds of innocent animals. This year, why not glorify (ruin) everyone’s favorite lunch box treat by rolling up in this fruity frock?

You will need:
Brightly colored stretch fabric
Needle and thread
Plastic wrap
Packing tape

How-to:
Wrap a piece of brightly colored stretch fabric around yourself inside out, pinning in place so that it is as tight as possible. Sew along pins, trim away excess material and turn right-side out. Cut at desired length. Wrap yourself in plastic wrap several times, covering the stretch fabric. Tape in place.