Collegiate Times

DIY Center

Freshly single, I have two options for my celebration of Valentines Day. The first involves a trip to Hot Topic to fight for the last “I <3 ME” T-shirt, distributing “Singles Awareness Day” cards and taking a stroll through a swanky restaurant to disruptively gag while surrounded by couples exchanging affectionate glances.

The second is to admit T-shirts are rarely flattering, “Singles Awareness Day” is trite and unoriginal, and being bitter will only elevate my risk of becoming a spinster. Don’t get me wrong. I am a bitter person. I still think my parents are heartless for making me wait until I was 16 to have a cell phone. I still think my great-grandfather is a selfish jerk for choosing my 13th birthday to die. And I definitely still haven’t forgiven my first ex-boyfriend for dating my male best friend two weeks after he dumped me.

But when it comes to Valentine’s Day, I have no animosity. After all, it’s a Hallmark holiday created solely to generate money. Not tears. Not plummeting self-images. Or even love, for that matter. Hallmark, dear couples, is not interested in saving your relationship. That glittery, dangly, sparkle-thing isn’t going to make up for the fact that you don’t get along the other 364 days a year. Neither will the singing cards or holographic bowties.

This year, I propose we all do without the frills and stress of the occasion and either celebrate it for what it’s worth (kind of gross, but free candy and the occasional dollar bill from the grandparents) or actually use it to bring meaning, not routine to your relationship.

Here’s a gift guide that puts a spin on traditional Valentine’s Day fare to benefit both the broke and brokenhearted.

All that glitters is not gold, but everything shiny is seriously getting old

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A version of this article appeared in the Feb 11 issue of the Collegiate Times.