Would you believe me if I said I’ve been dating the same boy since we were awkward high school freshmen? Maybe not, but I have. I am in a long distance engagement with my fiance and boyfriend of seven years.
How can I begin to describe what it’s like being engaged without first laying the foundation of our growing relationship? I have known my fiance, Patrick Hayes, since first grade. We were students in the same school through high school. Though I knew of him, I did not meet him until our freshman year of high school. We shared mutual classes and began talking through a mutual friend. We walked to class together almost the instant our friendship began.
From the beginning, we’ve been an unconventional couple. Patrick asked me out online, and we saw each other primarily in school. It wasn’t until our junior year of high school that we began to spend time together outside of school.
During our senior year, we began to realize our interests were taking us down different paths. Patrick wanted to design video games, and so he applied to a school befitting his interests in Washington state. I knew chemistry was my calling, and had my heart set on being a Hokie.
He proposed after a romantic dinner in the Inner Harbor in Baltimore over our first winter break. After the excitement wore off, we knew it would be a challenge. Being engaged while across the country has definitely put pressure on our relationship.
We learned quickly that communication is essential. We took for granted the time we spend together in high school and never progressed past basic communication. We relied heavily on online communication and phones in spite of the time difference.
Our first Christmas in college we both purchased webcams. This allowed us to chat in real time with each other and gave us so many advantages over texting or e-mails. Patrick and I are consciously aware of each other regardless of the miles that separate us.
As a member of the Marching Virginians, my fall semester is entirely consumed, and visiting Patrick is not a possibility. Combine my involvement with his shortened Thanksgiving break and that leaves us no option of being together in the same place until winter break.
We have been lucky, at times, and our spring breaks overlapped. For the most part, I fly out west to Seattle to be with him which gave me the confidence to move west after graduation.
After our freshman year we were able to spend copious amounts of time together as we worked at the same place during the summer. Since then it hasn’t been so easy, but we love each other and make it work.
Last summer was particularly trying, as Patrick had to remain in Seattle to take summer courses. This delayed his arrival home until late July, and we only had a month of quality time together. When you’re one half of a long distance relationship, you learn to appreciate that person even more. In the small amount of time we have together, we are inseparable.
Having a long distance relationship is no easy task. Our road hasn’t been paved, and we have hit some bumps along the way. Regardless of these bumps, our relationship has grown into something it may never have been without the separation.
If anyone in a long distance relationship is having trouble, I have only one word of advice: communicate. Communication is the most crucial point in any relationship regardless of distance. Don’t expect your partner to understand your life without your help. Talk to him. Tell him about your day and ask him about his. Don’t skip the small moments, tell him everything, and it will bring you closer together even if you’re miles apart.