HE SAID:
I imagine your clothes are somewhat organized in a dresser.
Socks team up in this drawer, shirts stack in that drawer and pants layer like lasagna in another.
Well I haven’t used that last slot all winter. Rest assured I’ve donned pants, but I own just a single pair of jeans. When I discovered the Levi’s 511 fit, I was sold — once, specifically. I’ve faithfully sported the “worn grey” slacks every day. Overnight they collapse onto my carpet; why pack them away if their legs will be my first steps out of bed?
“Ew,” you might think. Lay off. I wash them — every few-ish weeks (during which I wear shorts). But come on, denim is the fallen hamburger you give the 10-second rule to, except you multiply it by a couple hundred thousand. Ladies aren’t checking out my sunken backside anyway, so variety doesn’t seem important.
But I’ve come to realize most all my apparel is stale. While some people have decorative candles or pillows, I have decorative clothing; I wear a fraction of what (little) I own.
Cartoon-great Doug Funny apparently inspired my closet. His many hangers held identical green sweaters and khaki shorts. I have a flannel shirt series of a similar vein, and I’m ignorant to the other items, one of which I’m pretty sure is a women’s polo.
During warm months, I forgo graphics for revolving white T-shirts. A “style change” is switching out crew necks for V-necks, and both come in economical packs of five.
Only recently did I retire a pair of shoes I wore exclusively for 15 months (I found the duct-taped toe a nice accent).
Such minimalism — or maybe laziness — isn’t readily mocked in the collegiate context. Conversely, I’m guilty of scoffing at those who spend more than 90 seconds on an outfit. Regardless, our central purpose is to absorb some knowledge, and there isn’t a dress code for note taking. You’ve likely seen some unique pajamas in Virginia Tech classrooms, and that’s entirely normal.
A version of this article appeared in the Feb 26 issue of the Collegiate Times.
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