Collegiate Times

Like Jeff’s hair fiasco, I went out of my way to be ugly. To the world, I proclaimed it was because I was an individual. In reality, it was because I had no money. Ugly clothes are cheap.

In the winter, I would wear a hulking, stinky, patchwork coat with a giant shearing collar that was left over from my family’s leather factory. I’d Frankenstein my old clothes together with safety pins and band buttons. Gaudy-colored shoes went with every outfit. I’d use drab thrift store ties as hair bands and often took whatever articles of clothing somebody had forgotten on campus, whether it was a single glove or a puke-colored hat. And almost everything I owned was encrusted with my obsession: skulls. Even the nose stud I scored on sale was a skull that I nicknamed “Boney.”

So maybe I did the best I could while being thrifty. Maybe I was just youthfully expressing myself through clothing.

But now, I look back at my pictures and wonder why somebody didn’t take pity and send me to Stacy and Clinton of “What Not to Wear.”

Now that I’ve entered into the realm of “the young professional,” I can’t be quite so avant-garde. Making money is also a huge incentive to look presentable. My working attire now consists of camisoles, cardigans, sweaters, dress pants and plain flats. When I’m feeling casual, it’s skinny jeans, a zip-up hoodie and a pair of Chucks.

My punky past still springs up now and again. I still paint my nails black, and long for loads of dark eyeliner. In the mall, I still ogle the lacey tank tops in Hot Topic. And no matter how hard I try; I can’t rid my wardrobe of all the different pairs of Chucks I own, even if I have multiple pairs of the same color.

Even though I might not be able to be a scene kid anymore, I really don’t mind growing up and looking more like Pam Beesley from “The Office.” She has Jim Halpert, didn’t she?

That’s enough to assure me that maybe — just maybe — I’m on the right track.

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A version of this article appeared in the Feb 26 issue of the Collegiate Times.