In the last decade, our nation has witnessed a new phenomenon among the youth in America.
A spike in bully-related suicides among teens and preteens has caused school administrators and legislators to rethink the current course of action when dealing with bullying in the school system. Currently, what often happens in response to bullying cases is something close to nothing.
Bullying, the trademark of angst-filled teenage years, has always been viewed as a rite of passage or just simply an unpleasant part of growing up. However, what began as “harmless” taunting has transformed into shocking acts of hatred, verbal harassment and physical abuse.
Unfortunately, the systems in place to protect the children entrusted to the public and private schools in this country have not evolved with the times. They continue to ignore and disregard bullying, leaving children to fend for themselves.
Yet, with the current disturbing rate of suicides, it has become overwhelmingly obvious that such treatment of bullying is neglectful if not unlawful.
But aside from the negligence of teachers and administrators, why the sudden swell in suicides?
Bullying just isn’t what it used to be. Kids aren’t necessarily crueler, but instead have a greater accessibility to methods of reaching their peers after the school bell rings.
Social networking tools like Facebook and MySpace have created an avenue for bullies to publish hateful stories, circulate false rumors to the masses at a rapid rate and destroy any refuge from the taunting and tormenting — even when the victim comes home.
In fact, according to I-Safe, an organization dedicated to Internet safety education, 42 percent of children have been subjected to online bullying. Of those, 58 percent have not told their parents.
When the latest case of bully-related suicides hit the press and airwaves in January, many were shocked. After all, Phoebe Prince, a transfer student from Ireland, was only 15 when she hung herself at her Massachusetts home after another high school day of relentless tormenting. Her younger sister discovered her body hanging in a closet.
If this case seems out of the ordinary, I can regrettably inform you it is anything but unique. More and more cases of bully-related suicides are occurring at younger and younger ages.
In the aftermath of a case like Prince’s, who should be held accountable for her death? The school administrators who blatantly ignored the taunting and teasing she endured each day? The wretched students who created the hell that was Prince’s life? Or perhaps the little mongrels’ parents, who are obviously not teaching their children the value of humanity, empathy or kindness?
In reality, no one is usually charged in these cases. Prince’s memory fades and the bullies choose a new victim to antagonize. Yet for whatever reason, these nine children involved with Prince’s demise are indeed facing criminal charges that include assault, human rights issues and even statutory rape. Should these children be found guilty of these charges when they are — with the exception of at least one — minors themselves? And should the new trend in cases like Prince’s be to criminally charge those thought to be most responsible for the victim’s angst?
In my mind, it is a travesty in this nation’s school system when teachers, who are grown adults and should possess a sense of moral obligation to help victimized children, stand by and watch a girl literally be tormented to death simply because they were too busy, too callous or too mean spirited to care.
The backlash against the students to me is justified, but in a sense, only one step towards solving a two-fold problem. School officials should be standing right next to the children involved, facing similar charges.
In order to convey the level at which bullying should not and cannot be tolerated because of tragedies just like Prince’s, the legal system needs to establish concrete laws delineating bullying as abuse.
Those responsible for these deaths must be held accountable for the abuse or negligence to stop it. It would appear that school officials should be able to internalize the problem and stop it without involving the legal system. Yet, time and time again, faculty members have demonstrated their unwillingness, or inability, to prevent physical and verbal abuse.
If school officials will not take responsibility for the safety of their students, someone must.
A version of this article appeared in the Apr 28 issue of the Collegiate Times.
Leave a comment 67 Comments Write a letter to the editor
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As someone who works in a school, how would you suggest we go about changing policies? I am in total agreement that things or thr need to change, but how can teachers monitor the internet and social websites? How can we see what happens in locker rooms and bathrooms when the law says we cannot be present because it is a violation of those students rights? Things need to change, but how do we do that without getting sued left and right by parents of bullies who "rights" we have violated by looking at their my spaces and entering a lockeroom? I agree you have a right to your outrage, and I share it. But without ideas and suggestions you're in the same boat as the rest of us; clueless in what to do.
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What can teachers do? Well, judging by my own teachers in middle and high school, they could stop joining in on the bullying. That might help.
But to answer your question more thoroughly, the schools can make online bullying an offense that applies to suspensions and/or expulsion. Teachers can simply open their eyes and ears, as well. I sometimes think that "See and Hear No Evil" is a required course in schools of education. The union can lobby for a change in state law so that there can be restroom monitors.
Most of all, faculty and staff pretty much everywhere can cultivate a culture in which manners reign, and being impolite is frowned upon.
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it sounds like you are giving the teachers an excuse to not pay attention if they cant do anything about it? i agree that things need to change but what would you suggest they do since they are being held accountable?
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ive been bullied before used every saying in the book but words hurt they can cut like knives and its not as easy for some people to shake it off for me ive always been the loving nice person and willing to except who excepts me but some people just take that for granted they will taunt you in any way they can i just had to learn some people will try and bring down those who they see confidence in after all we dont know what the bullies face at home and why some just want to fit in at school and others just have a lack of confidence in their self ive realized since im a little older that when bullies look into your eyes and they see their own reflection so the comments arent really aimed at the victim their just the way the bully sees him or herself to be honest
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As an individual who works in the school system you should stand up for what is right. You do not have to necessarily search lockers or access student's myspace and facebook accounts but you should not turn a blind eye when you see students bullying other students in the hallway. Why not reprimand these bullies. Suspend them from school, call the police on them, do something. Don't just bury your heads in the sand an pretend that this is not happening in your school and in schools all over the world. Innocent young children are dying because of bullying and it is up to teachers to stop it.
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shut that stuff up on the real
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shut that stuff up on the real
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listen to what the kids say in the hallway. listen to kids who come up to you with problems.
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Here's an idea...Tell your children "STICKS AND STONES MAY BRAKE YOUR BONES BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT YOU!!"
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Yeah. That will work. Damn. More than a century of research in human psychology, and at least a decade, now, of brain imaging and neuropsychology, all a waste. You had the answers all along.
Thank you.
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it does hurt though
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yes it does hurt!!!!!! if you havent been bullied before you wouldn't know!!! so i would shut up if i were u!!!!!!!!!
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Yes I agree with the gist of that statement. I do not think that the upscale in teen suicides is due to the inventions of Facebook and Myspace. Kids chose to have accounts and chose to keep them even after the were being harressed when all they had to do to escape it was delete it. But in today's society we teach our children to be melodramatic about every little thing that happens in the their lives. We have stopped teaching our kids to fight and stand up for themselves or in the very least how to not take everything so personal. So yes we should do something but where should we start? in our schools or in our homes? If you want a society of victims then lets start with the schools
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I used to believe that too, but what about the child who is not as strong as the rest, is not able to 'shrug it off'? There are some extremely sensitive kids out there, and this non-stop isolation and insult is not something that they can just ignore. If you were to behave this way at your job, you'd be reprimanded. School is their job, where's the consequence?
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That would not help a bit simply because words can hurt as bad or even worse than physical bullying. It wouldn't help to tell your kid "oh who cares" because chances are the kid will take those words to heart and may even try to kill themselves. Words can really hurt and it's not easy constantly hearing you're worth nothing and you should die.
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I am thinking you might be or were a bully in school...or even after if grown. Really cant tell
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That is real bright. Maybe you should tell the families of all the children that have committed suicide as the result of bullying this and see what they say to you. I hope you never have children and if you do that they are not bullies like you are or that they are the victims of bullying because somehow I doubt you will tell your children when they are being bullied that sticks and stones might break their bones but names will never hurt them.
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I disagree. Words do hurt and I was bullied so I know. The girls at TC, my Catholic high school last year I don't go there anymore, excluded me, and called me names and made fun of me. They wouldn't talk to me. Espeically Laci and Jackie. And Hannah and Jessica and them all. Well most of them. The boys made fun of me especially Anthony Desimone and Dyantre Colston(Man, do I hate him so much!) and Dyantre's friends. I am glad I go to a public school where most of the people are nice to me and don't pick on me everyday. the funny thing is that the school I am going to right now is 5 minutes away from where I live and the people treat me nicer. It was as if my mother was paying for me to get bullied!
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sticks and stones.... come on KIDS ARE DYING!!! When some kids have no where to turn and all they get is punched, books thrown, and called names. How much can a little kid take!?
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Sticks and stones break bones but words can never hurt you.
30 to 50 teens commit suicide due to physical bullying.
40 to 60 teens commit suicide due to cyber bullying.
20 to 45 teens commit suicide due to verbal bullying.
This happens every year. The saying should go "sticks and stones break bones, but words can kill"
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ur a idiot words do hurt
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This comment was deleted for violating our comment policy.
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ur a idiot words do hurt
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words hurt too.
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Schools have little to no power to control things that happen outside of the school. It's true. I don't agree with it. I do my best to have discussions with all sides, parent conferences, go to the administration, and encourage parents to speak with the parents of the bully. If that does not work....GO TO THE POLICE. Kids have the ability to keep records of internet convos, text messages, etc....USE IT. Press charges, get a restraining order, and let the police deal with it. Parents and kids are far more likely to take a consequence or "punishment" from the police than from the school.
I'm totally against bullying and do everything in my power to stop it from occuring....but I do not go home with these kids. We do not know what happens unless students or parents come to us...and still then...we are limited because we face lawsuits.
So....we do our best to educate students, parents, and teachers about the effects of bullying and potential bullycide.
Side note...Miss VA's platform a few years ago was on bullycide....she went around the state speaking to students about the harmful effects of bullying.
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It's not that easy to just go to the police and get restraining orders. If you think it's that easy that is plain sad. You are right on the fact that the school has little power over what happens after school hours, but if a child is feeling threatened or scared or intimidated at school, that's where it becomes the schools job to make sure that student is safe at school, but if the school isn't dealing with it and say.. the kid gets beat up, that's where the school should become responsible.
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I am a bully victim, and have been with the same person at the same school for 2 and a half years now. My reputation has been trashed, I'm in a constant state of panic and depression and I have had to get restraining orders placed against people, all because the stupid school wouldn't do anything. They ignored me every time I asked for help (which was every time this student did something), and have not once ever even considered what all this harassment is doing to me mentally. I need counseling now after all of this! So when a teacher says, "how can you expect us to change the policies" and all that, my response is, just actually DO SOMETHING when confronted with bully issues!!! You don't have to CHANGE the policies! I was harassed online and I brought the messages into the school and spoke with the principal and she completely dismissed everything I said, and guess what....I was stalked and ran off the road shortly after! So when students come to you for help, GIVE IT! It is my senior year and everyone says these years are the best years of your life, well regrettably I must say that these years were in fact the WORST of my life, all thanks to my stupid spineless school.
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I'm in the process of trying to find out how to stop bullying in my childrens school. My son has been shanked, bullied, his stuff taken away from him, threatened and so on and the school just talks to the bully which causes things to become worse for the victim. If anybody has any suggestions please let me know. I don't know where to start. Ignoring the bullies don't work anymore. PLEASE HELP ME HELP VICTIMS!!!
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I have been bullied since 6th grade and I am now in the end of my 8th grade year. I even had to change schools and even the school at mow is doing nothing about the bullying. I am a survivor of buggies and im trying to teach my princepal about how seriously simple words like your stupid can cause someone to kill themselves. Like your senior year everyone says that your 8th grade year is supposes to be one of the nest years of your life but for me that was definatly not the case.
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i agree. i'm the same age and have similar problems. people bully me, but what they dont see is that it really hurts...
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i ws bullied too. i would walk into the locker for sports practice and i would get hit with shoes bras you name it. they used to dump water on me and spit on me. but i dealt with it by knwoing that the only power they had was the power i gave them which gave me the ability to not lwt it affect me. bullying hurts yeah but why let them ruin your life? its yours live it the way you want. you have more power over your life then you realize. just carpe diem
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Gabrielle: I am so sorry you have to go thru this and that people have been bullying you. I truly am! No one deserves that!!
However, you say you were being harassed and bullied ONLINE and then went to the school principal expecting him/her to deal with it. That is not the responsibility of the school. What happens ON SCHOOL GROUNDS is the responsibility of the school. If the bullying is happening on the internet, then go to the police or have your parents contact the parents of the bullies. The school has nothing to do with that and SHOULD NOT be held accountable...unless it continues on school property.
I hate that people hold teachers and schools responsible for things that happen at home or online. How is that our responsibility? That is the parents' and law enforcement's responsibility and they should be the ones to go to...NOT THE SCHOOLS!
I hope you take this to the proper authorities and it works out for you!! :) :)
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I agree with you. I know how you feel. The teachers should get off their lazy asses and do something to try and stop bullying. Thanks to the stupid teachers at my cousins school, she committed suicide because she was bullied soo much. And if bullying doesnt stop, more and more teens/children are gonna die because of it. MAKE IT STOP!!
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I agree with you. I know how you feel. The teachers should get off their lazy asses and do something to try and stop bullying. Thanks to the stupid teachers at my cousins school, she committed suicide because she was bullied soo much. And if bullying doesnt stop, more and more teens/children are gonna die because of it. MAKE IT STOP!!
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I agree with you. I know how you feel. The teachers should get off their lazy asses and do something to try and stop bullying. Thanks to the stupid teachers at my cousins school, she committed suicide because she was bullied soo much. And if bullying doesnt stop, more and more teens/children are gonna die because of it. MAKE IT STOP!!
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i had close to the same thing i has taken for ever to fill beter agen and get away from it it might hellp if u tell someone who would rill do some thing (pollice, perent ,freind who could hellp)
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teens should not be killing themselves b/c of others rude comments!!!!!! D:
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people need to see that they are bullying. most of the time, kids try and hide it. i vshould know, i've always been bullied, even in first grade.... dont let what other people say go to your head: you're specail for who you are, and nobody should change that for you. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND OTHERS WILL FOLLOW!!!!!
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But they are and no one is doing anything about it. And most parents have no idea its going on. Words and actions when given in a demeaning manner and are a constant day to day basis can really change a person mentally and emotionally. When someone feels so low and so worthless they feel they don't belong and that leads to suicide. The parents can be doing everything right but kids need friends to. Someone they can relate to. And Especially at such a young and inexperienced age kids don't really know what's to come.
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people bully for stupid reasons.why is that. i was bullied for being nice i never wanted to go to school again.
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I was searching for 8th grade suicide rates because I am creating a website to get my after school non-profit off the ground. Molli Marshall went to Masconomet Regional High School (where I graduated from) and was in the news for being beat by four students as a hate crime, and it started a movement of kids who go to, or have gone to that school, and people were floored to find out that even the superintendent at one point was a bully himself! geesh. So after watching her "It gets better" video, I sent her a response and now we are teaming up, because it seems that rural areas seem to have the highest rates from lack of exposure, acceptance and support. So I am moving to Massachusetts to create "Safe houses" . Motto: "Love accept SPEAK UP", with boxes kids can leave notes in, motivational speakers, teaching art, music, writing, video and healthy ways of expression. Have a NO TOLERANCE rule for discrimination and a place to feel free to be themselves. Welcome to "Molli's World"! I can't wait to make a difference. I arrive there in March, and if anyone who is willing to help or give advice, I would love to hear from you! This is a huge problem and time for change is NOW.
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Although thats nice advice , it doesn't necessarily help. kids don't need just advice. they need actions to be taken. A Kid That Is Being Bullied Cannot Process Those Words Its Just Meaningless Words To Them They Need Someone To Talk To.
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Bullying...it's happened to me MY WHOLE LIFE!!! And us teens are scared crapless to tell anyone about what's going on.. We only tell our bestfriends.. We are teens, we hide everything from our parents, we are sneaky. I still am scared to tell someone what's going on. Rather it be physical abuse or verbal, it hurts deep.. Words said by other people your age cause they think their better then you, it hurts because that stuff goes around, just because your different from someone else you are pushed around and stamped with a label, and that becomes you. I wish schools would do more stuff about this, they may not have exact connections with Facebook or MySpace or anything, but they obviously hear kids talking about it, come on we know their not deaf! I don't want to hear that bullcrap excuse "they don't have ways to see it." we'll LISTEN!!!! And take ACTION! Because many parents find out WAYYY to late what has happened, no one wants to loose their child because of bullying, mainly because schools don't take action... Come on people.... Every 40 seconds someone commits suicide... Most are teens out of depression, what causes depression? Bullying, abuse. Help us feel like we can speak up, an be backed up and helped.
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There are some people that do care. I challenge you to find a trusted adult that you can talk to and let them know whats going on. My heart goes out to you, and I promise my kids that I will do everything in my power to help children in need. There is always someone you can turn to, you just have to seek them out! Good luck
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I agree 100% I have started a "No More Bullying" Campaign if for nothing more than to make every community, not just mine, aware of this horrible and potentially life threatening act. We must work together to help resolve this issue. It will not end overnight, but if we as adults do not step up and take action for our children, they continue to lose in the end!http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/329314953786425/
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Words can hurt someone so stfu. Cuz I'm sure u have been hurt with words.
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words do hurt this comes from first hand experence nomater what they tell u (o its ok the jellis) it still bugs u and thers nuthing that can hellp that is y people cut them self i know i was thwe ive done it
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The over arching problem with today's bullying epidemic (which some say it is not, which I disagree) is that the adults have ignored it and failed to take effective corrective action over the course of the last 10 years at least.
Technology has played a large role. Adults chose to ignore the growing implications and stayed behind their secluded walls of "it doesn't happen here" The problem was unlike feudal lords of the past, schools left the students(serfs) outside the walls to fend for themselves, and many students did not fare well. Technology overwhelmed some students and with anonymity came the increasing lack of Empathy for classmates we see today. There is a strong anecdotal correlation between the rise in bullying and teen suicide (and instead of groups saying there is no data to support that claim, they should be doing it to clarify it). Bullying, teen suicide, and bullycides are real. Not every teen suicide is a bullycide and we must be mindful of that. Schools,/communities need to address the issue openly and fairly. On the opposite side, students can be the most powerful tool we have. Change MUST be from the Superintendent to the Students and everyone including parents. We lost our son 10 yrs ago to suicide following a high school hazing, and have been on the front lines of this battle, the connection of bullying to suicide is clear; now we have to do the hard work to turn things around.
Kevin Epling, Co-Director Bullypolice USA.
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for starters i am not commenting to anyone directly, having said that, please everyone re-read this blog from start to end and there are some prime examples of cyber bullying contained here. It does not become justified behavior because we disagree with someones opinion, is it possible we are teaching our children this behavior because we are unaware when we are practicing it? no single take on the subject matter is more important than the next or previous. How can we expect change to occur when a group of people cannot blog about an important issue without resorting to bullying to stress our beliefs. Really?
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i have been bullied since 5th grade and i know that at least in my schools the teachers WILL stop bullying if thet see it.but most of the time they just see it as playing around that they are proboly friends so dont blame them or say that they should face the same charges as the bullies bucease that is BULLCRAP. blame the bullies and there parents.if it happens tell the teacher if they dont do anything tell the principle if they dont do anything tell perents if they cant do anything get the police and as a last resourt cant change schools or no way to get away from it dont kill yourself stand up for yourself and the next time that bully says any crap to you punch them in the face and if you get kicked out of whatever the consiquenses are it is better then ending you life. i have lost one friend becuese they did not stand up for themselves so i stood up and fightback and and got other kids to do the same thing.bullying has gone way down after that in our school.
thanks for listening to my story of my two bullied freshmen my friend and me that made a difference in our school.
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Stay strong young grasshopper. I know you posted this a few years ago and you may not see my response but I want you to know that my heart goes out to you. I know how much words can affect a person. Sometimes the things people say can hurt so much that it would almost seem better to be physically attacked rather than mentally and emotionally. At least those wounds heal faster. I liked what an earlier post said, that the bullies are only attacking others because they are attacking a reflection of themselves. Sometimes it helps me to look at it as if the people that are doing harm to you are in a state of darkness. They must be hurting in someway for them to want to desire to hurt others. And you, you are the light. Darkness cannot exist in light. So as much as others try to hurt you, remember that you are light and be the light that allows others like you to stand up against that darkness. I hope this idea wasn't too "out there." I just wanted to share my love and thoughts with you :)
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