A number of states and agencies are loathed to allow gay and lesbian parents to adopt or even grant custody after a divorce to the parent in a same-gender relationship. Unfortunately, this bigotry is not founded on any kind of science. In fact, most of the stereotypes and fears of these institutions are unfounded and even disproved by such organizations as the American Psychological Association. In this column, I will give a very brief but poignant summary of some intriguing findings regarding gay and lesbian parents.
I examined one brief specifically that pulls data from a slew of studies done over the decades, ranging from the 19th century to 2005. This brief can be found at the American Psychology Association’s Web site and is an excellent source for information concerning legitimate studies and statistics on lesbian and gay parenting relationships with their children.
The APA’s brief, “Children of Gay and Lesbian Parents,” has some interesting things to say about gay parenting. Amid recognizing that as a group gays and lesbians are actively discriminated against at all levels and that negative attitudes toward them are culturally transmitted and not legitimized through experience, it has also been quoted as saying, “common stereotypes are not supported by the data.”
However, before I discuss the studies that have been done appropriately, I’ll discuss some of the confounding factors that may account for studies that have been done otherwise.
The APA found that many previous studies claiming a deficit in parenting between lesbian and gay households and heterosexual ones did not consider a variety of confounding factors, some of which include:
“The children raised by gay and lesbian parents experienced unusually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostility from other children and parents, which probably accounted for the formers’ lower levels of interaction and social integration with peers) nearly all indicators of the children’s functioning were based on subjective reports by teachers, who, as noted repeatedly by the author, may have been biased; and most or all of the children being raised by gay and lesbian parents, but not the children being raised by heterosexual married parents, had experienced parental divorce, which is known to correlate with poor adjustment and academic performance.”
With the first point, some issues regarding gay and lesbian parenting are caused by bigoted heterosexuals and homophobia, compared to homosexuality.
Paul Cameron, a popular dissenter who attempted to demonize homosexuality and parenting, is also invalidated by the APA and its studies. In its words, “Cameron’s research is methodologically suspect. Cameron’s key findings in this area have not been replicated and are contradicted by the reputable published research. Unlike research that makes a contribution to science, his key findings and conclusions have rarely been cited by subsequent scientific studies published in peer-reviewed journals as informing their scientific inquiry.”
Indeed, the APA found that there was no difference and, at times, even a positive deficit between the two parenting gender types. Lesbian parents, for example, tended to be more egalitarian, which is psychologically healthier for children and tended to evenly split household duties as opposed to reinforcing gender roles such as many heterosexual households. Gay men were also likely to divide child rearing responsibilities, reporting that they were happy with their couple relationships.
In fact, some studies even report that gay and lesbian parenting styles were superior to their heterosexual counterparts.
But don’t take my word for it, look at the APA’s summary of “Family functioning in lesbian families created by donor insemination:”
“One study by Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples’ parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In another study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents.”
Further, studies showed that heterosexual parents were more likely to use physical discipline whereas gay and lesbian parents preferred “positive techniques” such as reasoning. Studies concluded that there was no reason to believe gay and lesbian parents to be unfit and that they were just as likely to provide supportive home environments for their children.
As far as the claims of confused gender identity go, these also have been debunked. Since there is no research among gay fathers in this area, I will look at lesbian parents. Among them, children noted that they were happy to be their gender and had no desire to change. There was no evidence of gender identity confusion whatsoever among the children of lesbian parents.
Gender roles also fell within typical range of conventional sex roles. In other words, just because a boy was raised by two mothers does not mean he will turn out to take on feminine roles exclusively.
Even in social environments children of lesbian and gay parents were no less likely to fail or succeed. Development of peer relationships, social groups and romantic endeavors were all matched by heterosexual counterparts. None of these factors seem to change with sexual orientation.
Examining what I have said so far, I see that lesbian and gay households are no less capable of parenting than their heterosexual counterparts and have, in some cases, proven themselves more capable. The APA has found no reason but unfounded bigotry to substantiate policy against adoption or childrearing by gay and lesbian parents. The APA further concludes in its writings, “Fears about children of lesbians and gay men being sexually abused by adults, ostracized by peers, or isolated in single-sex lesbian or gay communities have received no support from the results of existing research.”
There are few sources more reliable in this regard than the APA. It is clear that with no data backing discriminatory stances and policies toward gay and lesbians, we need to better educate the public regarding this community and childrearing. Individuals also need to take some personal responsibility and do the research instead of relying on commonly held cultural beliefs.