JAMIE MARTYN/COLLEGIATE TIMES
He said:
The signs are everywhere — beer sales plummeting in beach towns, interns being released from modern serfdom, ESPN dutifully ignoring the Hokies as title contenders — and this can only mean one thing: Our nine-month vacation from the real world is about to begin anew.
The return to Blacksburg is welcome for those of us who find adjusting to parental standards for cleanliness and sobriety difficult. There’s nothing quite like heading back to freedom amid a backdrop of pigskin hysteria and the last tolerable weather for months. The only thing in the universe better than the fun of September in Blacksburg is experiencing it for the first time.
On that note, I’d like to welcome the freshman class of 2014 to Virginia Tech. The answer to your first question is yes, everyone on campus reads the Collegiate Times. It’s the topic of discussion at all the cool parties, and its writers are glorified among the student body.
If you were also wondering what the next four years are going to be like, then I can give no answer more specific than sweet as hell. Shelve any silly anxieties about college — nearly everybody finds a way to be happy and successful. Note that this reassurance does not apply to engineers, for whom misery is an academic prerequisite.
No matter what major though, newly arrived freshmen can be a lot of fun. You remind us all of the innocent days of yore when Blacksburg still seemed large and late-night Hawaiian pizza at DX was a revelation. The benefits aren’t limited to nostalgia. The arrival of new crops of girls is a serious morale booster to the male upperclassmen, and you all infuse life into campus by making the dining halls quite entertaining for a month or so.
You are also, however, like monkeys at the zoo. It’s not your fault you throw feces around — it’s natural behavior. Our job as the learned elders is to discourage this poo-flinging and teach you how to be respectable university students. Each and every one of you has the potential to be an excellent addition to the Hokie family, but first you must learn not to suck so hard at college.
A version of this article appeared in the Aug 27 issue of the Collegiate Times.
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dear he said props on the article it was pretty funny hope you can keep up this momentum the entire semester
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Ahe, entertaining and informative, good thing!
With regard to
" Farmville spread like a disease on campus as I watched people in large lectures tending to their crops while chatting on Facebook.", I'm a bit surprised that we're so inclined to choose to be less productive... amen...
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