He said:
The world doesn’t need anyone else singing the praises of “The Social Network,” but I can’t help myself — it is a phenomenal film. I’ll admit to being a little disappointed that the giant robot battle scene didn’t make the final cut; likewise, the actor who played Justin Timberlake was awful, failing to capture any of the N*Sync star’s dreamy mannerisms.
Still, the rapid-fire, hyper-literate banter and engrossing saga of friendship and betrayal was more than enough to keep me glued to the screen and talking like a character from “The West Wing” for the next few days.
On the way out of the theater I couldn’t help but wonder what a world without Facebook would be like.
In only a few short years, the website has gone from an exclusive college club to a worldwide phenomenon, transcending networking origins to become the digital age’s first true social utility for efficient communication.
Our generation has gulped the Kool-Aid completely; for many, including myself, Facebook is leaned upon as a crutch for keeping up with social lives. How else are the scatterbrained among us supposed to remember birthdays? I don’t even know what day of the week it is most mornings.
But what if a judge had ordered the site shut down as a result of the numerous lawsuits filed against creator Mark Zuckerberg? Or if Zuckerberg, portrayed in the film as equal parts genius and socially incompetent, had felt a pang of remorse that stopped him from climbing on his friends during his march to greatness?
College life without Facebook — it sounds crazy, impossible even, but it could’ve been reality had a few key events in the last decade played out differently.
By far the worst effect of this hypothetical exercise would be the re-emergence of MySpace. Before Facebook, the online social networking train was already rolling with Tom Anderson’s breathtakingly ugly social media disaster leading the charge (and simultaneously setting civilized society back a hundred years).
In the absence of its chief competitor, MySpace wouldn’t have been a funny memory from the pre-teen years. It’s ghastly music-blaring profile pages and considerable sex offender population would likely be part of the Internet’s dominant social network.
This would be bad news for anyone interested in sharing relevant information with peers. You probably won’t be able to find out the name of that cute brunette from the party, but you will get to meet plenty of fun people with names like “xoxoMissSASSYxoxo” and “bloodHXCOREtears.”
Better believe you’ll feel special when “punkprincess12” posts “thnkz 4 the add LOL” on your page.
While abject horror of this scenario is the most unsettling consequence of the (hypothetical, bless our souls) void in the social networking arena, the real loss would be that of Facebook itself.
There’s a reason it took the social networking crown, and it’s not gaudily customizable profiles. Facebook, even more than my beloved Twitter, is the premier online social communication tool.
A version of this article appeared in the Oct 15 issue of the Collegiate Times.
Leave a comment 5 Comments Write a letter to the editor
All letters to the editor must include a name, e-mail, daytime phone number and affiliation to Virginia Tech. Affiliation includes: year and major for students; position and department for faculty and staff; current city for alumni and parents.
haha. The Justin Timberlake remark was pricless.
Reply to this Top
to be perfectly honest, i dont even remember how my social life ran before facebook...
Reply to this Top
It's "its" that you want when it's possession being described. I can't even blame the editor, because he/she should never have to expect that such errors would be made.
Reply to this Top
You can definitely blame the editor. IT'S inexcusable that most people with a college education can't remember how to properly speak Anglish these days.
-Bitter Grammatica
Reply to this Top
Except they aren't speaking. They're writing.
Top