Pledges of Yale University’s Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity lined up last week outside their campus women’s center and repeatedly shouted, “No means yes, and yes means anal ... fucking sluts!” as part of their initiation process.
While I’m both disgusted and appalled by this sadistic chant for not only permitting and encouraging sexual assault, I’m even more concerned this call to violence is a symptom of misogynistic beliefs and discourse that still plagues our culture despite so many advances on the part of women’s rights and gender equity.
Despite a published apology and condemnation of the DKE chapter’s actions from the fraternity's headquarters that essentially serves to cover itself, this chant suggests so many deplorable misunderstandings of sexuality and consent while being deeply rooted in sexual control and coercion. In what might be news to the members of this fraternity, women are capable of enjoying great sex with partners who revere them as equal counterparts and are not interested in defiling or dominating them for the sake of espousing their own warped sense of masculinity.
Further, their location for such a display of unconcealed hate is especially distressing. Our own Virginia Tech Women’s Center is a safe space for men and women to gather for counseling and programming that aims to denounce the exact behavior these fraternity brothers participated in.
Their bombastic speech served to besmirch the ambitions of a women’s center and intimidate clients from utilizing the resources offered. Their chant, which mocked one frequently expressed during Take Back the Night rallies (including our own at Tech), ridiculed the goal of eradicating campus rape cultures by deriding consent and commanding brothers to further degrade a woman if she were to comply with sexual interaction.
True, these men were exercising their right to freedom of speech, but the call to violence they purported is unpardonable and begs campuses to ascertain their own rape and consent culture. It also has led lawmakers and Yale’s campus officials to question whether this was an act of hate that could lead to university-wide consequences.
What these young men at Yale are trying to do is eliminate consent, thereby aggressively asserting dominance over women.
Perhaps they feel powerless in an age of an equitable sexual landscape. Perhaps they’re intimidated by the competition of women also being capable of vocalizing sexual desire and achieving pleasure. Perhaps their penises are small and this dialogue is a predatory way to counter their deflated egos.
What they fail to recognize, among so many other things, is women have a right to say “no” to rape and sexual assault just as they are equipped with a right to say “yes” to a sexual partner.
I would hope DKE, Greek organizations and entire student bodies take this opportunity to have an open dialogue to discuss misogyny, sexual consent, gender rights and respect among both sexes. Fraternity-sanctioned misogyny warrants more than a mere slap on the wrist. As a culture and especially as a student body that faces sexual aggression and assault, we are responsible for educating our peers about misogyny and investing ourselves in the abolition of such detrimental thought.
Caty Gordon, senior English major
A version of this article appeared in the Oct 19 issue of the Collegiate Times.
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Great article. I have been reading as much as I can get hold of on this issue and have been immersed in it for the past 4-5 days. What I especially appreciate about this article is the close examination of the phrases that were being chanted as well as the implication of the location of the march. I only hope that this outrageous act will encourage more discussion about imbalances of power in open forums. Thank you!
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Actually, it was pretty funny.
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Dear Caty Gordon:
Thank you for fine, thoughtful article.
I, too, have been deeply troubled by this incident.
I am the author of The Rape Poems and have given
poetry readings at Virginia Tech and for the Yale
Women's Center.
Thank you for your work,
Frances Driscoll
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I am deeply disturbed that bright young students at Yale would feel comfortable in chanting the encouragement of uncivilized vicious attacks on women. I'm glad Caty Gordon is shinning a light on this despicable behavior in hopes that these persons will be held accountable and to raise the level of awareness among all of us who thought that women had reached a more reciprocal level of respect with men.
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In a rather ironic twist, the pledges' access to friendship relied upon their being coerced into this bigotry.
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I'm not saying this isn't crass, tactless, etc., however it was a joke. The real question should be whether or not these young men actually believe what they were saying, and whether passersby were really influenced by their chants. If either of these are the case, then we have a problem. It's an initiation ritual; the whole point is that they know they're being asked to do something outrageous. Just to be clear, I don't understand why anyone would agree to do something like this to be in a frat. In any case, it seems like this stunt would be more likely to make women view DKE in a negative light than somehow be persuaded to go to their next party.
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I appreciate your insightful response to the appalling behavior demonstrated by these fraternity pledges. Your words are echoed by the vast majority of men and women who learned of this unfortuante event. Thank you for being a clear and compassionate voice for this cause. This form of ignorance is damaging to all.
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Honestly, who REALLY believes "these guys didn't mean it" - because guess what, THEY DID. We have to stop giving waivers to this vocal misogyny. Had they shouted anti-semitic or racist rhetoric, no one would try to neutralize it by "they didn't mean it" & "they were just being obnoxious" aka boys will be boys. These guys aren't toddlers (though they act like it.) They know what they were saying.
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So by saying that they mean it, you think they're all necrophiliacs and rapists? That's the sort of leap that lead to oversensitivity. That said, I do think it's deplorable that Yale didn't take any action against these people. Freedom of speech doesn't mean you can say whatever you want *without consequence*, and when you're a student, you are obligated to live by not just the law, but the student code of conduct. If this doesn't violate their code, I'd be surprised.
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I REALLY believe they didn't mean it. And if you don't mind me asking, how do you know THEY DID mean it? Are you related to one of the pledges(who were probably forced to do it in the first place)? Or, god forbid, have you been assaulted by one of them? I am actually quite curious how you can make a statement with such certainty.
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LOVE THIS ARTICLE. GET 'EM CATY G.
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Don't you folks listen to rap? They are repeating what they heard in a song.
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"Perhaps their penises are small and this dialogue is a predatory way to counter their deflated egos." You had a fine thing going in this letter, why ruin it with a knee-jerk, incendiary comment like this? Was it an attempt to be funny? Such a statement weakens your ethos and makes people wonder if you're just some feminazi waiting for opportunities to undercut masculinity on the whole. We often talk about the issues surrounding the objectification of women as only sexual organs, why go ahead and do the same thing with men (though these aren't men, they're boys)?
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Strike a personal note did it?
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Constantly white-knighting female posters on the internet isn't going to lose your virginity for you, John D. Try another tactic.
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I am at a loss for words here. And no, not because of what these students said, but because of the circus people are trying to turn this incident into. If you truly believe this was a legitimate rally, and what the students said really are their views, you are an idiot. The key word here, just in case you missed it, is "pledges." This is an obvious case of hazing. Google the term, you clearly are unaware of its meaning. Yes, this was a vulgar attempt at humor, but what shocks me the most is the reaction and ignorance some of you have responded with. This was a call to violence? An attempt to eliminate consent? Give me a break. Society as a whole needs to quit getting so butt hurt about the most trivial of things. I used to laugh at the phrase "sticks and stones may...." but sadly, I now think it needs to e reinforced to much of soft skinned America. Just as extremists do for any group, you crazy feminists are hurting your image rather than bolstering it.
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It is fascinating to me how every time men are called to be accountable for their sexism it was just a joke.
Convenient.
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It's fascinating to me that people think something as outrageous as what the PLEDGES did is meant to be taken seriously.
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Agreed T. Danza. Don't fight hate with hate. No need to make others feel inferior...ever
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Oh. Ok. Hear that everyone? It was just a big crazy misunderstanding. It was HAZING! They were PLEDGES! Clearly, that makes this completely acceptable, rite guys?
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do you think that sororities do the same thing from the other side? i don't see guys crying about it.
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"you crazy feminists" ... "feminazi"?
does insulting/degrading the author of this post make you feel more masculine, too?
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1 in 4 college women will be raped/sexually assaulted in her undergraduate career. You tell me if that's a joke or not.
One rape is one too many. There is no humor to it.
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That's a false statistic.
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I have to agree with what someone said above me. You instantly lost any credibility with this remark: "Perhaps their penises are small and this dialogue is a predatory way to counter their deflated egos." Very immature. I consider respect for women and chivalry to be synonymous with masculinity. How do you expect me, as a male, to walk next to you in your fight against this sort of behavior, if you use that sort of rhetoric. Totally immature and inflamed remark in my opinion. You need to decide if you're against violence toward women, or just against men: it sounds like the latter
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Agreeing with this poster. In fact, I actually think that the penis comment makes the whole incident more hilarious because 1) it's obvious that it wasn't intended to be taken seriously (unless you want to also assume that they're all necrophiliacs), and 2) not only did you stupidly take it seriously, but you also threw a childish hissy fit over it by resorting to the same sort of stupid, predatory tactics they used.
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Dean Vernon Wormer: Cut the horse$hit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Greg Marmalard: You're talking about Delta, sir.
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So the author of this letter took a low blow at the men of DKE, so what? Are we so sensitive as men as to overlook what these fraternity brothers were yelling? By far theirs is the worse crime. She said they might have small penises. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. But the point is that they felt so infallible that they stood outside a women's counseling center screaming for violent sex/rape. You tell me which is worse...
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Actually, that's a really good point. Touche.
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Once again, saying "so what?" to the penis comment is an inherent problem with feminism: basically it's OK to degrade men, because "we can handle it, we're guys." These sorts of tactics Caty engages in turn other men off to their cause. As a male, with me, it should be about equal rights by "raising" (for lack of a better term) women up. With people like Caty, it's about raising women up and "oh, by the way, we can also get there quicker if we degrade males and masculinity too!"
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+infinity to this guy
It's just like with this article: http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,2015274,00.html
"At last, women on top". *At last*. Not "Finally, women aren't paid any less than men", or "Interesting, women make more than men". No, it's *at last*, women on top. Whereas if anyone said something like "Awesome, men still make more!" a few years ago, people would have been upset.
The inherent sexism of feminism is hilarious to me. I support women's equality, but that's why I call myself an "egalitarian" and not a "feminist" -- I don't support sexism like feminism does.
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They weren't chanting it in front of the Women's Center. I'm not really sure where you got that impression.
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They chanted the same chant in apprx. 2006 in front of the WC. I think there was some confusion due to several articles out about the history of this issues.
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It is debatable whether or not some sophomoric chant is really a "call to violence," and it is a bit unfair for others to speak for the members of DKE. Rather the focus should be on highlighting the importance of changing the culture surrounding sexual violence.
Rather than heavy handed condemnation, we need to focus on what we can learn from this and how we can improve. I doubt DKE was actually attempting to "eliminate consent," and such inflammatory statements fruther the the divide between those who, like the author and me, desire to change the sexual culture on campuses and around the country, and those who ought to be reached out to but are put off by hyperbolic reactions that berate the perpetrators rather than bring about and real understanding.
We need to understand that these fraternity brothers represent a larger problem in our society: the trivialization of sexual violence. The reason the joke is wrong is not simply that it's offensive. Sexual violence is real problem in our culture, interwoven far more tightly than many of us realize. We all have our characatures of rapists, and they are always people very unlike ourselves. The reality is that sexual violence is not something dark, subhuman and strange, but a problem that rears its head when we are not cognizant of it. When we trivialize it, we drift farther away from recognizing it as the persistant, personal issue that it is.
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That's why you go to Yale. Excellent response. Couldn't agree more.
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I just don't get why the author has to put down men to get her point across.
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Because arguing rationally and civilly is too difficult for women lol!
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That's not the point. Just like the arguement the author was making refers to society in general & it's views on sexual violence, one line of this largely well written letter is not the does not mean the point does not have merit.
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So we should just disregard the fact that she puts down men to promote equality? Hypocrisy?
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Her entire argument has no merit because the only reason she wrote it is due to something she completely overreacted to. She's whining about a problem that doesn't exist. Her article has zero merit.
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Their pledge class should have been disbanded on the spot.
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Seeing as how the pledges were told to this stunt in order to be accepted to the fraternity, I think if anyone should get in trouble, it should be the organizers. The pledge class wanted to get into the fraternity for whatever reason, so they did the requirements.
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I agree that the behavior of these young men was misogynistic and completely unacceptable. However, is it really necessary for the author to offer speculation as to the sizes of their reproductive organs?
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HA! Definitely True!
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Caty this was a very good article. This type of behavior is unacceptable for anybody to partake in whether they are pushed to do it or not. (John D. there are different types of coercion than a gun to the head, some of the pledges were probably scared of repercussions if they did not partake). I hope that those responsible for this event and who partook don't get off lightly. I do want to point out you seemed to generalize the fraternity a lot in your article. I hope that you and the readers know that this action is not performed by all, if any other, DKE chapter and not all the chapters have the same path to initiation. I have never heard of the chapter from VT partaking in anything like this.
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How did such an article ever get published? Such slander and bigotry I have never seen in the Collegiate Times in over four years. Caty G., you are a much misinformed columnist and need to get your facts in order. Also, you are incredibly biased, full of hate, and arguably have lower integrity than the pledges who were coerced and pressured into such behaviors.
I am in no way condoning the acts of these pledges but if this is part of a "ritual" then the event, or others like it, must have been occurring for some time. There are no reports of rape or sexual assault involving the Yale chapter of DKE, nor any other chapter for that matter. If this is truly an uprising to "...eliminate consent, thereby aggressively asserting dominance..." then multiple acts of that nature would have occurred since then and a movement would have started thanks to all of you misguided simpletons exaggerating the event and even giving the incident this much publicity.
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dude you have little to no idea what you are talking about... thanks for your insight towards the situation at hand. we are all now dumber for having read your pitiful attempt at patronization.
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i am so proud of this brave stand this writer has taken to identify the hurt and humiliation young women suffer when young men are forced to be insensitive in order to join a brotherhood. both young people deserve better but we will not be better until we can admit we are not good.
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She is brave for putting down men to get her point across? I suppose she is allowed to be insensitive, but men aren't. Excellent point.
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