Collegiate Times

He said

There are four words that can singlehandedly change the atmosphere of the party. They are four words that can turn your hangover from bad to worse. These words will lead you on a journey that you will never … remember. What are those four words? “Let’s go to DX.”

And don’t think it’s just DX. You cannot forget Jimmy Johns, DP Dough and my absolute favorite — Pokey Stix from Gumby’s. I’m here to walk you through that journey from the conception of the idea to the next morning.

Once those words leave the mouth, the salivary glands start kicking in full force. Campaigning starts, and you desperately try to convince everyone in the room that it is the best idea ever to get these delectable treats. And they go along with it. Why? Because who doesn’t love a 1,500-calorie snack at 1:39 a.m. when your stomach is already filled with eight Natty Lights and some Evan Williams?

Now that the seed is planted, it starts to grow. Like Frodo’s voyage to Morodor, it is as much about the journey as it is the destination. You don’t just walk to DX or Gumby’s, you trek there. Sure, you probably know the most convenient bus route, but you decide to make a beeline and don’t care what’s in your way.

Over the course of the years, my excursions have taken me over fences, through yards, into construction sites, and once even over the covered pool in the Village during the wintertime. The people that accompany you may start out as complete strangers or a friend from your hall, but upon conclusion of your march, you will be no less than best friends (if only for the night).

You chat to occupy the time from Pheasant Run to DX. This talk starts out basic, usually your friend telling you how he “almost” had that extremely hot girl from the party (yeah, funny that happens a lot, dude). But it always winds up being the deepest conversation you’ve had all week.

You hold back nothing with these companions of the calzone. Your conversation comes to a sudden halt as you go through the PY archway only to see a line halfway to Lane Stadium. You will always have that friend that suggests everyone go home, but you step in as the voice of reason. You’ve come too far to retreat now.

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A version of this article appeared in the Sep 23 issue of the Collegiate Times.