He said
Gentlemen, listen up — this one is for you. There are a few things all of us share as men. There is the obvious reproductive organ, which oftentimes does more thinking for us than our brain in an average day. There is the fact that we refuse to put the seat down after peeing. And most importantly, there is the man code, which is the common denominator among all men.
First is the frequently used term “Bros before hoes.” Don’t worry ladies, we don’t actually think you are hoes; we just really appreciate a good rhyme. If a man has the choice between hanging out with his buds or his girlfriend, he is obliged to choose his friends. This rule, believing to go back to the cavemen era, is to help protect a man from losing one of his most important assets — his best friend.
Girls come and go from a man’s life, especially in college. But a man’s best friend is like a rock amid the tumultuous sea of women. That is why he must always come before the current lady in one’s life.
However, there are definite exceptions to this rule. If a man makes plans with his girlfriend in advance, she has priority to that time. It is very rude to blow off a girl, and a best friend does not warrant such behavior.
Major anniversaries are also reserved for girlfriends, since guys wouldn’t have them to hang out with if
they missed these sacred dates — and I’m not talking about those lame two-week anniversaries.
Sticking on the topic of female interactions, a man should never “cock block” another man. For those women still reading, this is when a man gets in the way of another man who is trying to get with a girl. A man should only help his friend get with a girl. Hurting his chances in any way is unacceptable.
Once again, exceptions do arise in select circumstances. If a girl looks like an orc from “The Lord of the Rings,” then not “cock blocking” would be the true crime. If your friend is hitting on swamp monsters, then it’s probably time to take him home.
It is unacceptable for a man to openly like a chick flick. A guy should only see these if he is trying to woo a girl. The only other exception is if he is in a relationship or has recently committed a wrongdoing. And the girlfriend must always request to see the movie.
After every round of golf, a man must take off his hat and shake hands with the other players. There are no exceptions, even if you lost miserably. And a beer at the clubhouse is encouraged, but not required.
When approaching a door with fellow men, the first one to the door opens it for the rest of the group. If a man is with a girl, he must always hold open the door for her. No exceptions.
If a man is in public and his girlfriend asks him to hold her purse, he may only do so for one minute for
every point she scores on the one to 10 hotness scale. Say she is a seven— he must not hold the purse longer than seven minutes.
When given the option, grilling is preferred to any other cooking method, regardless of the food being cooked. Charcoal is preferred to propane. And anything can be grilled.
All men must know how to tie a tie, preferably in less than one minute. Clip-on ties are means for expulsion of a man’s “man card.” Bow ties yeild bonus points.
It is customary to be in love with all things American. Pride in one’s country is essential. Starting a “U.S.A.” chant is socially acceptable in pretty much any location and refusal to join in on another man’s chant is simply unheard of.
Every man should own at least one American flag-patterned clothing item. Cut off American flag T-shirts, American flag ties and U.S. belt buckles all meet this requirement. Not knowing the words to both the “Pledge of Allegiance” and the “Star Spangled Banner” is unacceptable.
Every man must own a tool set with all the basics items.
The most important man law is as follows: A man should always treat females with respect. Being a gentleman to a woman is the manliest thing any male can do. I adhere to the belief that chivalry is not
dead.
A man should always pay for a female’s meal on the first date — and for many consequent dates, if you get the chance. Foul language should never be uttered in front of a lady and a man should always listen when a woman speaks.
The lack of quality men in the world is a primary cause of many of the world’s troubles. If all men adhered to the long, yet instinctive, man code, the world would be a better place. Who doesn’t want to live in a world full of Ron Swansons and Ronald Reagans?
She said
We all have that friend who walks into a room, immediately whispers “dibs” and sends a nod in the direction of the most attractive guy in the room. That used to be me until a few people began to challenge that way of life — my best friends.
These girls are the ones who notice your long periods of absence from the house and know every move you make, along with the majority of the details. Yet there is an unspoken bond — you could call it a girl code — that can never possibly be broken.
It is what gives importance to calling “dibs” or knowing your friends’ or sisters’ dating histories. If you think “bros before … ahem” came first, think again. You must not — and cannot — even tease the idea in your mind of pursuing a relationship with a gentleman who used to be spending his time texting your gal pal down the hall.
You just don’t do it.
If you had no idea that they were ever a “thing,” that is different. It is very easy on a campus as big as ours to be secretive with relationships and dates. Yet, as soon as someone informs you that the guy in Alpha Alpha Alpha has been canoodling with at least two of your friends in the past, the game is over.
Your fast car and gorgeous head of hair won’t save you now because women put each other first. If a woman goes against the grain and decides the guy is worth potentially soiling her friendship, she should make sure she tells her friend before she hears it from someone else, or worse — sees it in action.
I neglected to tell one of my good friends that I was starting to develop feelings for a guy she used to have a crush on, and it almost ruined our friendship. Although we are still friends, it has never been quite the same since.
Girls are allowed to act as wing women to help friends with guys if they ask for it, but you never text your gal pal’s guy for no reason. You only have his number in the first place is because your friend was desperate enough to ask you to get the information — not for you to become all “buddy buddy” with him.
That entire situation not only gives off the wrong message to your girlfriend, but can confuse the guy, ruining any future relationship you were initially trying to build. It seems like pure jealousy, but in reality, it’s completely normal. Unless you were friends before the relationship began, it is just awkward. Allow your friend to bring him around so you can become friends, and show your approval that way.
Also, girl code consists of complete confidentiality. The moment you tell someone who is not a part of the friend group — outside friends or guys — secret information, you have completely lost the trust and broken the code. “Friendship: Over” status.
Just be safe, and keep all information you know private, regardless of whether you are in a fight with your best friend, because you know she is keeping her mouth shut about all of your details and expects the same from you.
It is, after all, the code.
Here is a tip for the guys: If a young woman is out with her friends, it is going to take a lot to pry her away to leave without them. Most girls’ natural instinct is to stay safe within their pack (yes, we are like wolf packs too).
We like to have rides set up and keep track of each other. If all goes well, you might be in luck. However, during a crisis, you are not even on the priority list, much less near the top of it. Understand that if tears are involved with any of the members of the group, you are riding solo for the night.
Now gentlemen, if you are thinking this is unfair, or you are having a tough time coping and looking for someone to blame, allow me to direct you to not only a TV show, but a way of life.
The entire girl code is a part of the psychological game “Sex and the City” plays on us, putting into words that our girlfriends are our true soulmates. We have been molded to believe that if we don’t have girlfriends to share all of the details with, we will never truly be happy. Therefore, we will do anything to ensure that these ladies will stick by our sides.
Girl code is tough to follow, and not everyone abides by it, but I will tell you one thing — drama only comes once the code is broken.