Truly, the imaginative aspect of Hellboy 2 is a commercial triumph; which is all well and good except for the word. And that word is cheesy. Hellboy 2 is terribly cheesy, and I don't mean in the sense of tasty cheddar. I mean in the sense of discomfort caused by the script — and acting — being so ridiculously cliche and fake.
"Hellboy 2" begins with a bedtime story told to a young Hellboy by his father, Professor Bruttenholm (John Hurt), of the first Hellboy about an ancient war between humans and magical folk (elves, trolls, you name it).
When the magical folk are defeated by the humans, a goblin offers to build an army of golden mechanical monsters. The elf king then unleashes these seventy times seven warriors, as various characters opt to say, which proceed to wipe the floor with the stalwart humans. However, the king's heart is sad, and a truce is formed. A magical golden jigsaw puzzle, or crown, is formed and split it into three pieces.
But Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) is dissatisfied with this arrangement, and he goes into self-imposed exile. Bedtime story/background exposition ends, then cut to Prince Nuada coming out of exile, ready to break the truce and bring back the Golden Army.
Opposing the prince is the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (which I'd rather be sending my tax dollars toward than bailing out greedy mortgage-holding corporations), plus and minus one hero from the first movie.
Returning is, of course, the sardonic, wry, devil-take-all, kitten-raising Hellboy (Ron Perlman) who's now living with the fiery Liz Sherman (Selma Blair). And let's not forget the watery, vocabulary-explaining Abe Sapien (Doug Jones), who also somehow gets involved with a love plot. The lost hero is Agent Myers, awkwardly explained as having been sent to Antarctica.
The interplay between these protagonists switches rapidly between gravity and comedy throughout the movie, but the balance feels all wrong. The relationship between Hellboy and Liz never takes off, never manages to engage empathy or humor. I couldn't help but roll my eyes during several exchanges that were supposed to be endearing or funny. They just fall flat.
A fine example of a lack of finesse is during one scene involving a forest elemental. This 40' beast springs up out of the street and swings huge tentacles at Hellboy in an attempt to destroy him.
Someway or another Hellboy manages to pick up a baby and, rather than simply place it somewhere safe, carries it around while fighting the beast. And just as it seems an epic baby-juggling battle is soon to take place, it ends in about five seconds with some crazy grenade launcher gun-thing that Hellboy has.
That scene is also particularly rife with comic book cliches. First, the prince suggests that Hellboy switch sides because he belongs to the magical beings, not the humans. Then, when Hellboy returns the baby, all the spectators turn on him, calling him ugly and throwing rocks.
Yes, indeed, the good ol' citizenry-turned-against-superhero ploy that's seen in Spiderman and Superman and X-men and just about every other superhero story.
However, the movie's dearth of real emotion is somewhat ameliorated by the imagination of its creatures and sets. From a scary troll with a spring-loaded metal fist to an angel of death with eyes on its wings, the movie is a visual feast. The artistic climax occurs in the Troll Market, which was a combination of the Star Wars cantina scene, the movie Labyrinth, and a Michael Jackson video. I'd watch the movie for that scene alone.
Though "Hellboy 2" is critically acclaimed — as of press time it had 88 percent on RottenTomatoes — I would warn not to expect too much.
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