Collegiate Times

The teams gather in prayer on the center of Worsham Field after the game.

Emert: St. Germain is king

1. Joseph St. Germain  (@StigSwag)

The long-snapper? That’s right, the long-snapper. When he isn’t dropping dimes to his punter AJ Hughes, he’s dropping them on Twitter. This tweet came one week after the redheaded, afro-wearing, fun-loving, sophomore made his first special-teams tackle.

“Only specialist to get put on the defensive bus for the trip. Guess my tackle last week really made an impression ...... #budfosterlove”

2. AJ Hughes (@AJ_HughesVT)

To understand this tweet, you have to try to understand the chemistry that the specialists share.

I have no idea what their practices are like, but I imagine it goes something like this: The offense and defense are running through their drills, hitting each other and working the sleds while the punters, snappers, kickers and holders are on the side.

For the most part they are messing around, joking and laughing, only working when a coach glimpses over to make sure they’re focused. It’s kind of like having a really old substitute teacher in high school — you do whatever you want for the majority of the class, only pretending to work when you’re being watched.

While I’m sure this scenario is nowhere near the truth, it’s just fun to imagine that this is how they build such chemistry.

"Rookie @b_abbott17 mistakingly placed kickoff tee at 40 yrd line. Refs had to tell true freshman to move it back. #NotInHighSchoolAnymore"

3. James Gayle (@JGayle99)

Watching James Gayle play football over the past few years, a lot of things became quite clear. I never want to be alone with James Gayle if I have done anything to upset him — however, if I found myself in that situation I would probably throw a football at him and run away as he dropped it.

The 6-4, 270-pound monster of a man blew away the Bowling Green offensive line as well as his best chance to get an interception.

“Lol I finally had my chance to run the ball an I drop it. Party fail”

4. Jaymes Brooks (@VTBrooks68)

Former Virginia Tech offensive guard Jaymes Brooks’ tweets are like Pringles, you can’t have just one. You must peruse his entire page to understand the often random, always comedic thoughts of the offensive lineman. His thoughts, at least those he shares with the world via Twitter, rarely follow a succinct path. Here are just a few of the gems.

- “He is depressed looking”

- “You do have a rather large head”

- “Salsa music though lol”

- “Nevermind”

5. Jeron Gouveia-Winslow (@Goov43)

My top 5 was set, the column was finished and it was about to be sent in to my editor when I came across the account of Gouveia-Winslow. It didn’t take long to see he was deserving of a spot, sorry to David Wang (@DWang09) who got the ax.

“When's the last time you called someone a biotch? #biotch. #throwback”

Remember when the girls in sixth grade called people biotches? Good times.

"Sunny dayz wouldn't be special, if it wasn't for rain."

That’s deep. And the “z” instead of an “s” after day — wow.

I need to go to a #NASCAR race! An afternoon of fun in the sun, American flags, cold Buds, gals in tanks n Ddukes, fast cars! What else??

AND HE’Z A GOOD AMERICAN!!

Marcolini: Wang always provides the laughs 

1. David Wang (@Dwang09)

Wang is the funniest Hokie on Twitter. It really isn’t a contest. From his profile picture to his tweets, Wang kills it. Through interaction with teammates (“Get a mention from @Lthomas_3... Followers for days HahahahHAHAHAHAH #superstar”), Instagram pictures (who knew the Five Gum mini-pack was so little?) and just general thoughts on life (The #awkward moment when two people break up and all the pictures of them two disappear somehow #grudge) Wang just kept the laughs coming.

I think of myself as someone who’s pretty funny on Twitter, but I don’t think I can even compete. I think that the fact that he is a nearly 300-pound offensive lineman makes it even funnier.

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A version of this article appeared in the Oct 5 issue of the Collegiate Times.