I'm not afraid of scary movies.
Let me tell you why: People are jerks to the kid who is afraid of scary movies.
You mention once, just once, that you had nightmares for a year after watching “Scooby Doo on Zombie Island” when you were a kid, and suddenly it's all over. You become the scary movie punching bag.
Apparently, the only thing more entertaining than watching scary movies is scaring the person who is legitimately terrified by them.
Once you mention you’re afraid of scary movies, your Bible Camp leader will think it's a great idea to plan a camp-wide screening of “The Exorcism of Emily Rose” to explain to you that the only thing you really have to fear is the devil himself.
If you're afraid of scary movies your friends will start showing you previews for “Devil” even though you explicitly told them about that scary Bible Camp experience.
If you're afraid of scary movies every boyfriend you'll ever have will think it's a cute date idea to watch episodes of “The Walking Dead” and have you cower into his arms the whole time.
But let me tell you that it's not cute when you start ugly-crying on his sweater because you're convinced there's a zombie between you and your front door.
It's not funny when you can't ride elevators anymore because you are so cripplingly afraid that you might accidentally be killed by a demon.
Bible Camp loses all value when you have to sleep on your older brother's floor for a week afterward because he is obviously the only person who can make sure you're not possessed by the devil.
So I'm not afraid of scary movies. Those of you looking for a punching bag can just move along.
I fall asleep with the lights on because I stay up late doing homework.
I avoid ABC Family all the time, not just in October when it has its 13 Nights of Halloween special.
I show up to movie theater late because I have better things to do, not because I'm scared there might be a horror movie preview.
I'm not afraid of scary movies. Nope, not me.