Long-distance relationships never work, right?
I should start by saying that for the past few months, I am trying my first real long-distance relationship. I have made every mistake in the book, but have also started figuring out what makes an LDR work.
Couples who are forced to use creative ways of communication obviously have to work harder to make their relationship work. They spend more time thinking about ways to feel intimacy with their partner. They spend more time dreaming of seeing them, and less time getting annoyed with seeing them constantly.
So how do all these couples (including myself) make it work?
The three main components to a long-distance relationship are communication, trust and maintaining a healthy sex life.
Communication takes the prize for the most important and the most difficult aspect of long-distance relationships. When you don’t see someone every day, it is easy to forget about talking to him or her as well. But in this age of technology, there are creative ways to keep things in the green with your significant other. Text messaging, phone calls, Skype, instant messaging and other forms of communication are extremely useful tools to help keep your partner up to date with your daily life.
In addition, LDRs require more trust between partners. This new level of trust between individuals opens up an entire section of the relationship that would otherwise remain closed. LDR couples are, generally speaking, very open with each other; trusting one another tells them anything they should know. What do I mean? Don’t stalk your partners Facebook every single day. Do not get mad at them if they don’t text you back in 4 minutes. Live normally, and let them live normally too.
As for maintaining a healthy sex life, every relationship differs greatly. In most cases, it is important to remind your partner that you are still thinking of them sexually. Another very important part is to keep things spiced up even while you are away from one another. I’m not telling you to send nudies every day, just have fun.
Sex can also be a problematic area in long-distance relationships. When you don’t see each other for a few weeks, there’s obviously some “catching up” to do. The worst thing that you can do is lock yourselves in your bedroom tangled in the sheets for the whole weekend. While it is important to keep your sexual needs in check, it is far more important to attempt to incorporate your partner into your normal life. You want them to meet your friends, be exposed to your routine and remember what it’s like to actually see your face. Balance your time in the bedroom with outside activities to make sure that you are not just missing the sex when you are away from one another.
I am a proponent of long-distance relationships. I believe that having your own life, space and time to yourself is incredibly important. If you are in love, or even have extreme interest in someone, you will find your own way to make it work. Long-distance relationships are not for everyone, but should certainly not be out ruled solely because of distance.