Collegiate Times

He Said No matter how hard anyone tries to explain themselves, no matter how long they?ve been "friends" with someone, no matter how unattractive their allegedly platonic friend seems to be, no heterosexual anywhere is in a strictly platonic relationship with anyone of the opposite sex. That doesn?t mean that all people who claim to be "just friends" are, in reality, sleeping with one another. In my experience, that?s not the case, but that might say something more about my particular situation than the general consensus. Maybe all friends of the opposite sex do sleep with one another, in which case I need to go make some phone calls. More than likely though, supposedly non-physical friendships are often marked by an unspoken undercurrent of romantic attraction. It could very well be the case that you and your friend of the opposite sex have many sturdy, virtuous foundations for a simple friendship. You could share a passion for competitive clogging or interpretive dance. You both might have superfluous nipples in conspicuous places. Nonetheless, both of you are probably still attracted to one another, but have agreed to subdue this attraction in exchange for the benefits of a non-romantic relationship. I?m not saying that everyone wants to date every single one of their friends. Were that the case, monogamy would?ve gone out of style with bell-bottom jeans and platform shoes, and until those things come back into style, which will probably be a lot sooner than you think; we 18 to 25-year-olds are stuck with our monogamous relationships and one-night trysts. You might not have any real desire to get to know your platonic partner in a more intimate fashion, but you?ve probably thought about it or imagined it in a really, really specific dream. And if it so happened that the friend in question started coming on to you, you might not want to do it but you probably wouldn?t do much to stop it either, unless you happen to be in a romantic relationship of your own. So that?s where we stand. People of the opposite sex are friends and both parties probably have some sort of less-than-innocent vibe flowing between them. How can we stop this? We can?t. That?s right ladies and gentlemen. If your significant other is friends with someone of the opposite sex, there is nothing you can possibly do about it without coming off as controlling or overly possessive. Opposite-sex friendships anger everyone except for the people involved in them. But as natural as it is for someone to be jealous of their significant other?s attractive friend, it?s just as natural to expect that these people are friends, because they were at least mildly attracted to one another. That?s how people meet and there?s no way to change that. Tough loss, applesauce. So go on boys and girls, stop squirming and let your significant other be friends with whomever they want, or just become friends with someone of the opposite sex and you two can squirm together. She Said Is the main source of all your relationship quarrels about someone who is "just a friend?" Well if you are a girl who has a very close guy friend, it is more likely that you will think that he is "just a friend" while your boyfriend has other feelings about this guy who spends hours talking about his relationship with his girlfriend. Many of us girls are naive enough to think our closest guy friends that we watch TV with, go on long walks with or eat dinner with every night with or ? is there a red flag going off yet? We want to think that there are guys out there who really are only interested in how many calories we burned today. In reality, they are probably taking our stories of running ourselves to death and transforming it into an image of us running naked with our shiny hair swaying back and forth like a Pantene Pro-V shampoo commercial. Did I mention this thought was also in slow motion? If you are spending a significant amount of alone time with a guy, chances are (and these are good chances) that he has other intentions than discussing why you and your boyfriend are in a fight. Why is he so adamant on picking up the pieces, you may wonder? No guy spends time listening to a girl whine about her appearance and re-assuring her that she is the most beautiful girl in the entire universe if he doesn?t think that someday, somewhere, he can see you on top of him like a cowboy riding a wild bull. So the next time your man tells you your close friendship makes him nervous (and there are other ways to tell her this than forbidding her to ever speak to him again) think to yourself, for his sake, is there a reason that he should be jealous? And if you are getting a little too friendly, or more likely he is, then something should be done. There is a difference between guys who hold up your feet while you choke down some beer at the keg, and guys who want to watch a movie with you on a Saturday night. As for you men, we know when we have a good catch. We know when our men are hot, cool, smart and funny, and because of that we know other girls know it too. Jealousy is an ugly part of life that creeps up on all of us, but there are reasons why your girlfriend isn?t so fond of your best girl "friend" who calls you every night, but doesn?t even know your girlfriend?s name. The fact is that there are reasons why we get into relationships, and also remember when you first started having feelings for each other. Just because you?re comfortable and confident in your relationship doesn?t mean the guy your girlfriend is spending her time with or the girl your boyfriend is spending time with doesn?t find the same qualities that you see in your significant other attractive as well. Women want what they can?t have, we all know this proves to be all too true. We also know that men want sex. Don?t even try to deny it guys, we know you weren?t admiring the necklace on the girl with the double D bra size. In fact, she wasn?t even wearing a necklace; very subtle by the way. Guys and girls have platonic relationships all the time, don?t get me wrong, but to make these friendships work, the line has to be clear. I will put a lot of money on the fact that if you straight-up told a guy that going to bed with him is as likely as you going to bed with your own brother, he will think twice before staying in on a Saturday night to watch chick flicks. That?s prime time to meet "close girl friends" after all. My advice to women: we?re catty and most of us go after what we want, no matter who is standing in the way, so unless your man?s girl friends are willing to include you in her and your boyfriend?s late night talks and trips to the movies, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.