Collegiate Times

He Said

I?m stuck on this one: the complicated question of whether or not a single girl who carries around condoms when going out is trashy or just prepared.

To avoid controversy, I?m going to take the high road on this one and say that she?s both. I realize that this is a non-answer, but any other response could put me at odds with either my own gender or with a large portion of Virginia Tech?s female population. Logic would dictate that since the male population at this university is significantly larger, I?d have a better chance of survival if I just say ?indeed, women with condoms in their purses are trashy,? but for safety?s sake I think I?ll dodge the bullet and live to offend everyone another day.

From a guy?s point of view, a girl who carries a prophylactic in her purse is probably exuding a bit more trashiness than he finds attractive.

Guys want a lot out of a girl. We?re picky. And like the most discerning of fast food connoisseurs, each guy wants to have it his way. I can see it now.

?Welcome to McGirlfriend?s, may I take your order??

?Uh, yeah can I have my girl be Martha Stewart on the outside and Pamela Anderson in the bedroom please??

?Right, for the Pamela Anderson, do you want hepatitis with that??

?No, no, no hold the hepatitis please.?

?Ok, drive around to the second window.?

Guys want a girl who is one thing in public and something completely different behind closed doors. So when we find out that a girl we?ve met carries around condoms in her purse at bars and parties, we automatically see that as an outward gesture of promiscuity. We want modesty on the outside but Kama Sutra in bed.

Now I?m not saying that?s fair, but it?ll probably be a cold day in hell when it stops being true.

Also, isn?t it just kind of weird for a girl to be carrying around condoms? What if the condom is too big or too tight? How embarrassing is that? Would you sleep with a guy who walks around with a diaphragm in his wallet?

No! Neither would I!

Still, it does illustrate preparedness and wisdom on the part of the female bearer of condoms, just because we guys are (let?s face it) not such passionate advocates of safe sex. There aren?t many of us who, after meeting a girl and taking her home, will just skip the final step into intercourse due to the absence of a condom.

Now, if a girl refuses sex without the presence of a prophylactic (which she probably should), a guy will scour his home until he can work something out, even if he has to play MacGyver and make due with a garbage bag and a rubber band.

Inevitably though, if we can get away with it, we?re going to try the ?au natural? procedure before digging through our possessions to find the key to the fortress of your womanhood.

Of course, when a girl has a condom, she?s ready to deal with this issue and, in the process, saves both parties a lot of potential baby-shaped grief.

So gentlemen, let?s work on keeping it wrapped up for everybody?s sake and girls, come prepared, but keep your contraceptives clandestine until absolutely necessary.

Be safe kids.

She Said

The double standard has always existed between men and women and their sex lives. If you?re a guy and you sleep around, you?re supposed to be praised and if you?re a woman who sleeps around (even if your number is relatively low) you?re labeled a slut.

Finally, things have changed a little bit. With the help of all our friends from ?Sex and the City,? and other fearless females in media, women have become freer with their sexuality.

These liberated women have started carrying around condoms just in case an enticing opportunity presents itself. To some people, these women automatically gain labels such as ?sluts,? ?easy? or any of the other highly intelligible and accurate words for a woman you know nothing about.

Now let me get this straight: the women who carry around condoms in case they run into a man that not only doesn?t have any protection but would rather say no to a million dollars than to a sex proposal from a woman, condom or not, is a slut?

I think not. It?s called being safe and respecting yourself, people. There is a difference when the woman is carrying a porn shop full of condoms in all tastes and colors, but standard protection; what?s the big deal.

They?re only doing it because they don?t want to come home with anything more than a loss of self-respect and a hickey.

We are mature enough, some of us, to admit that sex happens, especially in college. Carrying condoms, for a man, used to be a cool accessory that showed manliness; however, it is more and more rare to find a man carrying around a condom. And so women who like to express themselves freely have to pick up the slack.

There is the assumption that women who carry around condoms are sexually active, and I have to tell you, that is one heck of a long shot. Really though, who cares? If she has handcuffs or a whip in her purse, then label away. But condoms are just a necessary precaution, a precaution that more people should take seriously.

It is funny how a plethora of STD and AIDs commercials and fundraisers have seemed to take over our televisions. I bet the reason for this isn?t because more women started carrying around condoms. In fact, it is probably because of those commercials that they do carry around protection.

The only label you can put on a woman carrying around condoms is ?smart.?

The real question lies in the fact that the only person who would know a woman is equipped with protection is if her controversial condom was needed. In which case her partner of the evening did not come prepared and so she was right to have the needed equipment.

So why does the midnight gentleman caller have such a problem? Is it that he was insulted by her presumption that a condom was necessary? Or was it because he longed to have a child at the age of 21?

The problem is that when condom-less men are with a woman, only to find that their chosen lover was better prepared, they come to the harsh realization that they will have to use it in order to get to the next level. Men want unprotected sex; you?ve heard the phrase ?it feels better,? and although the experiment may prove to be true, it isn?t safe. And it won?t feel better when you have to take a trip to the doctor for some unidentifiable rash that popped up after the night of passion.

So for all you women out there, and that is what you should call yourselves, who carry around condoms and get criticized for it, just remember: you will be the one doing the criticizing when you have to drop off your friends who can?t comfortably walk to the doctor.

Stay strong, and stay safe. It will benefit you in the long run.