?Let?s take a freaking road trip.? There are few sweeter words in the vocabulary of a college student. Let?s state the obvious ? we all love Blacksburg. We can all agree, however, that sometimes Blacksburg?s more like Blandsburg, offering little excitement or adventure past Joe?s Diner. If you ask me, college isn?t about sitting around waiting for something fun to happen ? it?s about venturing out past Prices Fork Road and Rte. 460 and actually experiencing something unthought-of, rebellious and maybe even on the edge of legality. Some students think that visiting the New River Valley Mall is a road trip, or that taking a hike to Shultz for lunch is a road trip. These people haven?t lived.
So what is a road trip, you ask? Well, a road trip is driving to New York City with seven friends, one Howard Johnson hotel room and a fearless 1993 Previa minivan that no one thought would make it. That was my fall break, a road trip that will go down in the memories of everyone involved. One of my fellow road trippers made a profound statement, saying, ?Really, life is one big road trip: from the womb into the world.?
I couldn?t have said it any better.
Let?s start with the basics of the road trip ? the people. You have to realize that for the next few days you will share your living space, car, food, thoughts, aspirations and innermost fears with these people. You will learn to love them, or at least pretend to.
First, someone has to be the navigator ? the glue holding the trip together. The person should have printed Map Quest directions and have printed, laminated and copied an hour-by-hour itinerary for everyone in the car, which is never followed, of course.
Then there?s the person with the outrageously small bladder. Constant moaning from the back seat about how much this person has to go to the bathroom plagues any road trip. Though this person may be the catalyst of a few minor setbacks, he or she can be a source of great comic relief for everyone else in the car with his or her memorable quotes. One might hear a shout of ?Pull over now, or pee is going to start spraying out of my eyeballs,? followed by a roar of laugher that consumes the car as the driver passes yet another rest stop.
Lastly, a designated ?rich friend? is essential. This is the person who?s got daddy?s Visa card and whenever you stop at the gas station they will ask, ?Does anyone want anything?? The correct response to this: ?Uh ? yeah ? I?ll just have a soda, and you can fill up the gas tank ? and some fine Cuban cigars ? and 10 lotto tickets.?
Cha-ching! Thanks, designated rich friend. Let?s not forget that the perfect road trip soundtrack is essential. After close observation on my trip to the Big Apple, I have reached a consensus ? Pop music prevails. Everybody loves it. When Britney Spears? hit sensation ?Crazy? engulfed the car everyone snapped back into consciousness and burst into choreographed song and dance.
Next there?s the question of shelter. If you ask me, why put two people in a two-person hotel room, when six is more fun and the boys can ?guard? the car in the parking lot of a New Jersey hotel. And let?s not forget about the possibility of free places to stay. Just find some semi-awkward family friends to stay with for a night. It might seem weird to sleep in the home of a friend?s dad?s friends? who tell you to call them ?Uncle Noel and Aunt Jane.? (This being weird because these people are in no way related to you or your friend).
Let?s face it though, eight Tech students are probably the most excitement Uncle Noel and Aunt Jane will ever see. I could tell when they started cutting slices of their finest cheese and venison and offering it to us on platters that they desperately wanted to impress their houseguests. At one o?clock in the morning I wanted sleep, not deer meat and when they insisted on me using their bathroom to shower (which was of course one of those ones made all out of glass with mirrors everywhere) I?ve never felt more uncomfortable. But remember, people like these are the grease of college road trips everywhere.
So here?s what I have to say to you ? get your lazy self up, and take a trip. Friendships you will make and speed limits you will break, but you will also have the time of your life, I guarantee it. That?s my challenge to you Virginia Tech, and don?t worry, I promise I won?t tell Blacksburg that you cheated on her, even if it was just for one weekend.
