Collegiate Times

Communication. The word itself is so simple and yet doing it can prove to be so complicated.

What is it that makes it impossible for two people to talk about really important things and at the same time so easy to talk about random topics like the weather? Let?s be realistic ? oftentimes people spend hours beating around the bush instead of coming right out and saying what they mean.

I?d like to theorize that while I am undoubtedly guilty of this, it forces a lot of missed chances in life. Consider having the opportunity to do something wonderful or have something amazing, but an inability to communicate your desire for such a thing stops it from happening.

In the grand scheme of things, does fear sometimes take precedence over all other emotions? I think so.

I found myself torn between telling someone exactly how I felt about a situation and risking never again having the opportunity to do so. I am a firm believer that things have a way of working themselves out for the best. I also affirm that sometimes there are reasons we cannot understand for what we think are unfortunate circumstances. Then again, a lot of times unanswered prayers and the things we as human beings struggle with the most become some of the best experiences of our lives.

I like to think that the easiest parts of life are never the most worthwhile. Keeping that in mind, a fear of communicating something to another human being means one thing to me: It is more than likely worth communicating. I?m sure many of you can sympathize with having to confess something to another person. If you are then you?re aware that sometimes telling the truth isn?t as easy as it should be.

The thing that makes opening up to someone so difficult is realistically just that. Cultivating your thoughts and feelings into something worth hearing is easier said than done. Even if you can manage to accomplish such a feat, putting a part of yourself out in the open for anyone to trample all over is scary. The chances of being disappointed are high and the chances of succeeding in getting what you desire are low.

Then again, perhaps herein lies the problem. Assumption. People assume that being open and honest with their thoughts and feelings will get them nowhere. I learned a great lesson once ? not too long ago, actually. The more honest you are willing to be with yourself and with others, the more likely you are to attain your goals.

If you have ever heard the idea ?You miss 100 percent of the shots you don?t take,? I suggest pondering the meaning of that and you will find the point of this column. Fear prevents success. No matter what, I can guarantee if you are too afraid to try something, and you never conquer your fear, you will never succeed in getting what you want.

As far as communicating goes, something that always helps is having someone to talk to who is willing to listen. This even includes having to be ridiculously patient in trying to find the point behind the message. If you find yourself afraid to say what is on your mind, suggest to the person you?re talking to that you really are afraid. I promise they?ll be patient with you, and if they aren?t the conversation isn?t worth your time anyway.

Hold tight to your inhibitions if you need to. But realize that in doing so you may be missing out on some of the best things you ever could have experienced. Although every once in a while you may encounter a mind reader, the chances of such are slim to none; eventually you have to learn how to communicate your thoughts and feelings.

Fear should never overcome the desire to have all that is available to you. And yet, it does. I challenge each of you to become more steadfast in your desires. An inability to communicate what you want only leads to a pattern of settling for less than you deserve. Should each of us become people who are less tied to our fears and more willing to put ourselves out there, no matter the consequence, communication on the whole would improve, and, from someone who isn?t usually so optimistic, you may find there are things you can have that you never realized. Don?t be afraid to take the reigns and find all that is out there for you. Remember, if you never try, you?ll never know.