Collegiate Times

I am certainly not going to suggest I believe in telepathy; however, I do think that every once in a while it is possible to encounter someone who can become so close to you, they know you better than you know yourself. Think hard: you may be able to recognize the person in your life that best fits that description.

Now, imagine you and this person have merely been friends, nothing more, for the duration of the time you have known him or her. At some point in your friendship, he or she suggests taking the relationship you have to the next level. It quickly becomes clear that something like this makes perfect sense; let?s be honest, while growing up all I ever heard was, ?The person you spend the rest of your life with should be your best friend.? But why is it that life is never as black and white as the understanding of what it should be?

People have different strengths and weaknesses. For some of us, communication isn?t completely a problem, but perhaps types of communication are. For example, I have no problem writing down exactly how I feel, but when it comes to telling someone who is important to me all of those things, I freeze ? become utterly worthless, waste time and never conquer whatever fear I have of such instances.

After reading a column from Tuesday?s Collegiate Times, I realized that the author of the column pertaining to honesty by omission, touched on something that a lot of us are guilty of in our everyday lives. We let the fear of saying the wrong things, maybe even of losing someone, overshadow what it is that is most important to us: the person themselves.

I think at a certain point in life people who live with a fear like this come to a crossroads, at which point they must decide between two fears: the fear of telling someone the total, honest truth and the fear of never really knowing the effects your truth could have had. Basically, it comes down to the principle that if you never try, you?ll never know. So which fear constitutes the more important of the two? Unfortunately, for most people, including myself, it?s usually the first of the two fears. For some reason, facing the chance of rejection becomes easily avoidable by simply suppressing an admittance of feelings.

Then again, at times, just because people refuse to admit their feelings doesn?t mean they aren?t known ? in fact, frequently, they are. I?m not sure how many good liars there are out there, but I am not one of them ? most certainly not to someone who at times can know me better than I know myself. Thus the point: when you reach a point in a friendship, or any other type of relationship, that the other person knows when you are lying, when something is wrong, etc., what purpose is served by refusing to admit your feelings? After all, that person already knows what you think or feel, sometimes people just need to hear things for themselves to know they are true. Here?s a big tip that most people can probably benefit from: If someone knows how you feel and they aren?t freaked out to the point of rejecting you entirely already, chances are telling them the truth might work in your favor.

Wow, did I actually just suggest admitting the truth? Well yes, I did. Ironic isn?t it? Especially considering those of you reading this who know me personally know I just wouldn?t do such a thing. Again, it is quite regrettable that for the majority of people in this world, fear overcomes feeling.

I don?t know what to do to combat this trepidation. To simply say, just tell someone the truth sounds good, but, realistically, isn?t always feasible. It could be quite possible; however, that the whole idea of divulging the truth is a process, and in most cases, a very slow one. Things simply don?t happen overnight. It is reasonable to believe that someone?s fear could rule his or her life for its duration, but it doesn?t have to. Owning up to the way you feel isn?t always easy, so take it one step at a time. And remember, if someone can see that you?re obviously scared you might not get the reaction you want, they?ll probably be patient with you, for a little while anyway. If they can?t respect your feelings, chances are they just won?t respect you, and your time is probably being wasted. Always take into consideration that fear doesn?t have to overcome feeling, a choice simply has to be made.