Collegiate Times

It?s funny how the word ?single? can make so many people feel unimportant and little. Just think about all the words that run parallel to this one word: solitary, solo, separate, singled-out, secluded and spouseless. OK, wipe those tears away. It really isn?t the end of the world that you?re single ? a whole lot of us are.

However, I?ll be the first to admit that being single in a world where everyone seems to be pairing off isn?t easy. To start, there?s always Feb. 14, known to some as Valentine?s Day and known to others as Single Awareness Day. Either way, it always ends up being a day when the only sign of affection I get is a package from my mom containing chocolate she probably bought from the dollar store and a pair of pajama pants with hearts on them. To be honest, I never really eat the chocolates and my plethora of heart pajama pants only serves as a constant reminder of that fact that I am indeed still single. Now, don?t get me wrong ? I love getting that package from my mom, but I can?t help but think to myself, ?what?s the point of getting cute pajamas when I have no one to tell me they look cute on me??

It wasn?t until about a week ago that it all struck me. I can either spend the rest of my single days being bitter, wearing heart pajamas and eating cheap chocolates or I can spend it basking in the gift that I will one day forfeit when I meet the love of my life. And that, my friends, is the gift of my independence. See by ?independence? I mean our ability as single people to do whatever we want, whenever we want and most importantly getting to spend time with one of the greatest people we know, ourselves.

So first let?s state the obvious, girls travel in herds. This is the first sign of a lack of independence. You?ve probably seen it before, one girl gets up to go to the bathroom and the rest of the flock follows. This is not normal social behavior in case you hadn?t realized already, and as far as I know, boys find it absurd. The first time I decided to go to the bathroom by myself my friends confronted me with questions like, ?Susan, are you okay?? ?Why didn?t you tell us you were going?? and ?I?m really getting worried about you.? Well, excuse me for being independent.

The problem is that independence doesn?t come naturally to all of us. Some people are afraid of looking like they don?t have friends if they do something by themselves. Are you scared to shop alone? Eat alone? Go into a bathroom stall alone? Some of us are so caught up in the social spectrum that we can?t take ourselves out for a date every once and a while. Well, today is the day that all changes.

See, I didn?t learn the art of independence on my own ? my best friend showed me how it?s done. She goes to school in Brooklyn, so of course she?s a city girl and, believe it or not, she goes to the bathroom alone every single day. We were talking the other day and she proposed something to me. It was something I had never tried before and certainly had never considered doing on my own. It was a true test of my singleness.

So Wednesday, Feb. 1, I did it. I went to the movie theater and saw a movie ... alone. I will admit it was scary at first, wondering if all the people sitting around me were asking themselves why I was sitting by myself. Then I realized that it didn?t matter if I was alone and what people thought. The worst-case scenario would be that they would think I didn?t have friends, which I do. And the best-case scenario would be that they thought I was confident enough to go see a movie in the theater alone. I walked out of the theater feeling like a new woman, brainstorming all of the other things I wanted to do single.

So will all of us singles stay single forever if we give ourselves some time to stop and enjoy the company of ourselves? That?s not what I?m saying in the least. You have all the time in the world to find someone, so why rush now? Maybe this Valentine?s Day you should take the money you would be spending on cheap chocolates and take yourself out to lunch and think about the joys of being single, independent and free.

The words you can use to describe yourself now can be those analogous with ?independent;? sovereign, self-sufficient and satisfied.