Collegiate Times

Since the dawn of time, men have loved sports. In fact, since the Bible was presumably written by men, I think an early draft of the Book of Genesis went something like this:

?On the sixth day, God created man and woman in his own image and granted them dominion over all living things. God then created (insert some variety of ancient sport: pagan wrestling, sand hockey, Dance Dance Revolution showdown, etc.) so that man would be able to beguile and silence woman as he yelled heartily at his friends who thought that (Team A) was better than (Team B) which man knew was quite ridiculous.?

Later on, a very wise man added, ?God then created College Basketball and March Madness and with Adam there was much rejoicing, while with Eve, there was much sorrow and gnashing of teeth. God still saw that it was very good.? Yes it?s March Madness. The signs are everywhere. Men are scrounging up the change in their car seats to buy a $5 bracket. Women are taking ?breaks? with their boyfriends, solely to avoid dealing with it all. Duke fans are sacrificing small dogs to the pagan god of their choice in hopes that their team will win it all, while simultaneously working on their weepiest facial expression to break out when their team loses to LSU (I hope).

This is a glorious time of the year (at least it is for men). Competitive sports are being played and social events are occurring in abundance. The weather is a little bit warmer and outdoor grilling is becoming feasible. Beverages of a cold and refreshing nature are being consumed in celebration. It?s a good time to be alive (or at least to be a guy).

But ladies, fear not. The best part about March Madness that everyone seems to forget is that, in all reality, you don?t need to know anything about basketball to enjoy it.

Yes ladies, guys will bore you to tears as they theorize their way into what they hope will be a lucrative $5 or $10 bet but, believe it or not, you probably have just as good a chance of winning a bracket as anyone else, even if you?ve never watched basketball ever.

You can pick Florida because it?s sunny there and you like sun or Illinois because you like their colors or Gonzaga because you think it?s fun to say Gonzaga. Since the tournament is so unpredictable, it means that everyone has at least some chance of winning (even if your reasoning isn?t exactly based on thorough research).

So pick your teams and strap yourselves to the couch, because it?ll be April 3 before you know it.