Collegiate Times

?The end is in sight,? you tell yourself. A warm and fuzzy light at the end of the semester?s tunnel gives you hope. ?Only a month and a half left,? you say, looking gloomily at the greasy pile of dishes in the sink. You didn?t place them there.

In fact, you can recall those same pots, pans and plates lying there in a soapy purgatory for the past three weeks. It has turned into a sort of contest to see which will be liberated first, the dirty dishes or the moldy food in the refrigerator.

You avoid doing your laundry, for fear of what hairy creature you might find in the lint trap of the dryer. The floor hasn?t been vacuumed for months and the bathroom ? oh my, the bathroom. At first it seemed impossible that someone could actually feel dirtier after taking a shower.

And, let?s face it ? you haven?t seen your reflection in that bathroom mirror since September because of the splatter of spearmint toothpaste caked to its surface. What has happened? Who snuck into your living space only to leave behind destruction, grime and loud music at 2 a.m. Tuesday night? Oh, you must have forgotten. You have a roommate.

Whether you live off campus or on campus, you no doubt share your private bubble with a friend or two. Or at least at one point they were your friend. Now, after seven months of bumping elbows and grinding teeth, you?ll be more than happy when the lease is up. And don?t you worry, it almost is.

I may not be the most pleasant person to live with. I, too, am guilty of unwashed pans and dirty sinks. However, I make my effort to stay out of the way of both my roommates in turn for the mutual respect of staying out of mine. Sometimes it works, and sometimes you just can?t help but allow your annoyances to boil over.

In that case, I have developed a list of procedures for dealing with the final stretch of roommate-rage that envelops us all. It?s not easy to simply ignore the little things that your fellow rent-payers do to get on your nerves. But here are a few suggestions of what can be done in order to ward off that sudden urge to shove that dirty dish where you think it belongs.

First things first. If you are fortunate enough not to live in a 14-by-14 foot cubicle, affectionately referred to as a ?dorm,? then more than likely you have a room to yourself.

And furthermore, your room probably has a thin, wooden door equipped with the latest in roommate-stopping locks. So I propose that you close it. That?s right, just reach out and close the door. The healing powers of being in your own space without the interruption of a roommate?s stench or mindless chatter can be lifesaving.

If you do live in the dorms, then I admire your courage. However, you sadly must move on to step two. There is no hope for you in shutting out your live-in irritant with a physical barrier.

The second solution for the sudden distaste for your present roommates is to make an effort to remedy the situation. A fun little prank is a great way to say, ?You?re getting on my nerves, but I still want to be your friend.? Be careful, though, and don?t confuse pulling a prank with seeking revenge. Putting up naughty wallpapers on someone?s desktop computer or filling their room to the ceiling with packing peanuts and newspaper is hilarious. You put time into it. You obviously care. On the other hand, destroying their property, setting things on fire, or anything involving dead animals/fish isn?t remotely funny. Put some time into the prank. Be original and don?t break the law. Besides, planning the prank is almost as fun as pulling it off.

Thirdly, if steps one and two have failed (some roommates figure out how to pick locks or don?t have a sense of humor) then you should make friends with someone who lives in another apartment or dorm-room right away.

It would be great if they had a pull-out sofa or futon, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and blow-up mattresses are pretty cheap at Wal-Mart. This may be considered the ?run away? method. And you would be correct in assuming so.

I have seen worse, however, and a much-needed vacation from the source of your frustration could be just what you need to avoid causing more problems. Come back in a week and see how things have changed.

And lastly, if everything else fails, try moving out altogether. I recently had a roommate do just that. He packed up his things and went to a smaller apartment just outside of Christiansburg. He claimed it was for the ?quieter environment,? citing that his work load had simply grown too large and the buzzing life of Blacksburg was too much for him.

The other roommate and I know differently. To us, his excuse translated to, ?I?ve had enough of you guys, and don?t mind paying two rents in order to not live here anymore.? To each his own I say. If you can afford this, then by all means this is the sure way to rid yourself of the roommate blues. It?s like getting divorced but without the mess of court dates and alimony.

So there you have it. Good luck and may your roommates have mercy on you.