Collegiate Times

It?s spring, and we all know what that means. Skirts have gotten shorter, collars are starting to pop again, and oversized sunglasses are taking over girls? faces. Since when did these become the warning signs that the school year is ending and summer is creeping up on us?

Before I go on, I should probably admit that I am in no way a fashion expert. I?ve been known to wear black shirts with brown belts, which is apparently the number one fashion no-no among girls.

I?ve done the socks with sandals thing, and I can also admit that I?m ashamed of that. All I can do is speculate about what I?ve seen in the past week on our thriving campus of Virginia Tech: Hopefully, we can all find a way to laugh about the fashion tragedies so many of us have fallen victim to.

So you?re walking across your favorite quad on campus and all of a sudden it hits you ? you feel like you?ve stumbled on the set of the 1963 movie classic ?Beach Party.? You feel uncomfortably overdressed wearing jeans and a T-shirt as you catch sight of your scantily-clad colleagues. Sure, the quads may be filled with shameless flirting between sunbathing girls and boys ?playing sports,? but that doesn?t mean our campus is a beach.

Not only do our quads turn into borderline-nude beaches, but spring fever has also infected a large part of the Virginia Tech population.

By ?spring fever,? I?m referring to the increase in the amount of handholding, flirting and the urge to start dating your springtime crush. When it comes to relationships that bloom in the spring, all I have to say is don?t spring together if you?re only going to fall apart.

Back to the topic of fashion. I know that the popped collar will always be a touchy subject. Some people have no qualms about flipping, starching, molding or doing whatever it takes to get that collar as close to the sides of their neck as possible.

Maybe people do it to be preppy, or maybe just to bother those of us who choose to pass on popping. If this happens to be your personal style, can I offer a few words of guidance from an innocent bystander?

First of all, if you absolutely feel the need to pop, make sure that your collar is worthy of it.

There is nothing worse than a flimsily popped collar that seems to serve no purpose but to flap in the wind as its owner walks across campus. One might wonder why this collar looks so sad and depressed.

My second popped-collar frustration comes from one that?s overly starched. I see no reasonable explanation for a Dracula-type collar that might make your classmates feel threatened or just think you look like a fool.

Also, I can?t help but notice that wherever there is a popped collar, khaki shorts with embroidered sea creatures on them seem to follow. Since when did seahorses, starfish and phytoplankton become cool to have stitched on a pair of shorts?

Maybe I?m being a hypocrite when it comes to talking about big sunglasses because I?ve owned my share of them, but it?s gotten to the point where I?m convinced they can?t possibly get any bigger.

We?ve all seen her, the girl with the sunglasses that could almost be mistaken for the kind you are forced to wear after getting your eyes dilated or the ones the elderly like to sport to deflect any source of light from reaching their eyes.

Not only is it incredibly awkward to not be able to see someone?s eyes when you talk to them, but it also makes me wonder why so many let themselves walk around looking angry at the world through bug-eyed glasses.

Next come the new gaucho pants that girls have been sporting lately.

I see no problem with these pants as long as they are kept under control, but if you wear them on one of those windy Blacksburg days, they are likely flutter out of control and get in someone?s way.

So you?re probably wondering, ?who is this girl, and why does she think she can tell people how to dress??

Well, the truth is that I?ve noticed that we, as a body of college students, are an attractive group of people. I?m just trying to look out for you guys and tell you to not be afraid to have an original style. Have a great summer and stay classy Virginia Tech.