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Sexy?s back? That?s great. I didn?t get much sexy this summer. Between Fergie?s London Bridge going down incessantly, Nelly Furtado?s promiscuous girls and Shakira?s hips with their lies, I didn?t know where the sexy went. Obviously sexy is a balding man with a Mariah Carey-like pitch who?s slim and pale enough to walk out of a Betty Ford clinic.
Hold on though, when did sexy ever leave?Didn?t we loose sexy back in 2004, and furthermore, wasn?t Timberlake a contributing factor? That?s right, we lost all sense of sexy when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson?s metal-studded bikini top during the Super Bowl. Since then, the Super Bowl halftime show has been Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger?s vein-ridden pasty white arms jiggling around. We all owe a great deal of thanks to Justin and the Federal Communications Commission for the world-renowned wardrobe malfunction.
Timberlake?s stunt managed to take sexy out of the halftime show and turn it into a funeral parlor. From this one simple act, the television and radio broadcasting world has been turned on its head. Vulgarity or perversion on the air can now cost a network up to $320,000 (used to only be $32,000) for a single incident. And just think, Jackson and Timberlake are still regular main stays on the FCC endorsed ?Free FM? distributed by Clear Channel.
Let?s move on. Timberlake has an album out entitled ?FutureSex/LoveSounds.? It debuted as Billboard?s #1 album. Quite unfortunate. I thought since Paris Hilton?s album flopped (thank goodness), that the American public finally understood the producer/performer relationship. However, I always forget that the American Idols of the world are our favorite ?artists.?
We all got lucky when the boy band phenomenon disappeared. So how did Timberlake survive the mass extinction? The truth lies in the money-spending white suburbs of America. Timberlake pulled a rabbit out of the hat as he was able to move away from the boy band genre and align himself with main steam hip-hop. His collaborations with Pharrell and Snoop Dogg have given him credibility in the music industry. If Timbaland, Snoop Dogg and Pharrell like Timberlake, then he really must be good.
With Paris Hilton?s album, Scott Storch was the name to remember (he?s now adding The Game and Young Buck to his repertoire). Now it appears that Timbaland has edged out Storch by a nose. Somebody explain to me why Timbaland is producing for people since all his albums go platinum in a matter of weeks? Why is he not an artist?
He?s featured in countless tracks among countless performers from Missy Elliott and Justin Timberlake to Ludacris and Nelly Furtado. All of them sell millions upon millions of records because of the musical foundations Timbaland laid forth. As of late, Timbaland is rumored to be working with Jay-Z and Coldplay. Somebody give this guy his own album; it worked for Kanye West.
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