Collegiate Times

He Said:

After slapping decorum in the face with last week?s column on hygiene, much to the amusement of a New Jersey-based high school that happened to circulate copies, it?s time to get back to work.

I asked Rachel what she thought about covering dating in the workplace at our meeting this week. She said it was a great idea. Then, I asked if Saturday night worked for her. She burst out laughing. I lost a little piece of my self that day.

Dating or even hooking up with someone at work might possibly be the trickiest thing in the world ? more so than telling your parents you blew your student loans at the dog track. Sorry Mom. It?s like navigating a veritable minefield of ambiguous body language and insinuations. And likewise, beginning that journey is the hardest part.

The thing about workplace dating is that both people want to be so sure that the other is interested, that sometimes both people will pass up an opportunity simply because they?re not completely sure. Imagine working with someone who turned you down. Often, sadly enough, this leads to people being so afraid of speaking up that, even though they want to jump each other?s bones, nothing ever happens.

Successfully scoring in the workplace takes a dedication to flirting, which, in really fun work relationships, should be almost effortless anyway. If you?re not sure about what she thinks of you though, my advice is to drop little hints here and there. Give her expired concert tickets and see if she would?ve gone with you had they not been three months old. That actually worked for me in the past. Whatever you do, make sure you?re confident about asking her out before you actually do.

Everybody?s had a job with a sexually charged atmosphere ? legally or illegally. We?re young. It?s natural. I dare say it?s necessary to shrug off responsibilities for urges. I worked for the Hollister Co. for a couple of years and I doubt there?s any workplace less focused on work and more concerned about a well put together anatomy. It was awesome. I can?t even mention certain details of the work parties I used to have at my place. At one point, every guy there was hooking up with one or more of the girls. Dressing rooms were not safe.

Having too much success with women you work with, however, is almost as bad as having none. Once you move on to someone else, and the previous object of your affection happens to work the same shift, it just gets messy. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Translation: embittered work hours and classless trash talking behind your back. So watch out. This is when you try and take an extended lunch break or, my personal favorite, have her taken off the schedule.

Rarely do people enjoy going to work. So forming a relationship with someone there can make a world of difference, especially when it comes to role-playing. However, just like anything worthwhile, there can and may be pitfalls. Think carefully before you take action. Sometimes flirting with the possibility of a relationship makes things more fun than actually being in one.

She Said:

It?s the typical fantasy. Ripping her $300 business suit, Rod passionately kisses Veronica and in the heat of the moment swipes everything off of her desk so they can really get down to business. The next day at work, the two arrive at the office. Rod avoids eye contact and Veronica hands him a dry cleaning bill for her suit. All of the other employees notice their awkwardness and smile inwardly because nothing is better than office drama.

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