Collegiate Times

He Said:

So, have you recovered from last night?s game? Well, stop vomiting and put some coffee on, lazy, because it?s finally time for what we?ve all been waiting for ? Halloween parties!

With Oct. 31 falling on a Tuesday this year (lame), this weekend will act as the surrogate opportunity to throw eggs, eat chocolate until you go into a diabetic coma, and, most importantly, wear a costume. While some traditions always stay the same, others sure have changed since we were kids.

Certainly, the most obvious difference is between the tone of costumes we used to wear when we were younger and we now wear as adults; especially when it comes to girls. Nowadays, if it weren?t the most glorious of October holidays, college girls would be arrested for what they consider costumes.

Halloween is every female?s chance to dress like a slut and not feel bad about it ? plain and simple. And, that?s awesome.

It?s so much easier to pick a costume when you have breasts though. Don?t believe me? Add the word ?naughty? in front of any profession in the world and you?ve got a killer costume, ladies. Think about it ? naughty maid ? naughty police officer ? naughty waste-management worker ? they?re all good!

Through intense scientific research, I?ve found that the key to each of these sexy costume picks is a good pair of thigh-highs. No matter what you want to be for Halloween, throw on some thigh-highs and it?s instantly better.

It?s not every day that we get to walk around a party and see dozens of our favorite female characters from childhood dressed like they owe money. And, this is why we, as gentlemen, embrace Halloween ? the opportunity to take Little Miss Muffet upstairs and give her some curds and whey. What storybook could end on a happier note?

So, is there a down side to any of this? Well, maybe. It?s becoming more and more difficult to see a relatively originally dressed girl at these sorts of parties. I guarantee you will see someone dressed as a schoolgirl this weekend. But, it?s whatever.

I used to hate seeing nurse uniforms on Halloween until I tutored a nurse this week. Besides being absolutely gorgeous, she was genuinely a nice person; which reminded me why girls? costumes are so attractive to guys ? their innocence.

Halloween is all about the perversion of innocence. Tales surrounding the corruption of children by witches appear throughout history and are still popular campfire conversation today. I assume witches are behind whatever reason parents check candy.

Regardless, it?s the combination of innocence and experience that makes Halloween so bewitching. And, although they may lead to accidental pregnancies, your costumes are the perfect hybrid, girls, to capture the essence of such witchcraft. Happy Halloween.

She Said:

It?s that time of year again.Take out the fishnets, naughty nurse uniforms and super hero sculpted chest plates and tights.Halloween will rear its masked face everywhere this weekend, so dressing accordingly is merely expected.