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He Said:
Personally, I can’t think of a better way for someone to be personable than to communicate through a computer. Sharing one’s passions and opinions in the flesh has become horribly archaic and of poor taste. Thankfully, collegiate kingpin and digital master of social ceremonies, Facebook, has cut through all the red tape of live conversation so that we can all, finally, get to know each other.
Forming the perfect digital profile is, of course, tantamount to portraying an idealized self-image. So, make sure the lighting is right before you aim that webcam because people could get the wrong idea. Whether serious or comical, profile pictures have become a first glance through the window of someone’s soul, which comes into full view after digesting the overwhelming amount of information that follows.
In all seriousness, there aren’t many ways to understand a person than by learning their birthday, sexual preference, and political views at the same time. Well, except actually asking them. But, looking up someone’s Facebook profile is probably the easiest way to figure out if they’re single or not. Afterwards, the real romancing can begin.
First of all, you can never tell someone that you found out he/she is single online — that sounds about as smooth as going on a date to an out-of-state abortion clinic. Some people try to counteract this troublesome truism by casually beginning to pick up the same hobbies as that special someone. But, baton twirling your way into her bed never actually works. Even if it did, you’d have to declare a title for the two of you online soon thereafter so everybody knows you’re hers — scary.
Online romances are plain weird. Doesn’t anybody else think it’s just a little bit unsettling that people anywhere can learn your hobbies and even your class schedule? And it’s not like they have to go through intense CIA training to figure it out either — vaguely spelling your name into a search box will suffice. Facebook & Hokiestalker … what else do you need besides the dryer lint? Poke.
I suppose, however, that someone would have to be your “friend” to take a peak at the entirety of your well-crafted profile, but most people accept anybody who requests validation of their friendship anyways. “Hrmmm, why does someone from Southern Middle North Dakota State University think he/she is my friend? Whatever.” Quiz: What’s the difference between having 1,000 Facebook friends and having only one? — the one is actually your friend.
Regardless, it’s important to realize that there are more pressing dangers to college Facebookers than adept cyber-stalkers and phony friends. For anybody who plans on applying to the job market, you should realize that company reps will look up your profile online — possibly by explicit request. So, you might want to take down that picture of you barely winning an Edward 40 oz. Hands contest. In addition to being an unwanted resume, every Hokie should know that posting where the party’s at could end up earning you a pair of free flip-flops in the county jail.
For one reason or another, people will continue to use Facebook. I must admit, I’m a sucker for learning what others like to read, and that’s not the best of conversation starters. Yet, let’s not ever substitute who we are for an online version of who we want people to believe we are. If you really want people to know your favorite quotes, actually say them from time to time. If you’re really someone’s friend, you both already know it. Facebook’s nothing new. So, you can’t deny it’s getting old.
She Said:
Once upon a time procrastination was a skill. While watching TV has always been a substantial way to avoid completing assignments, coming up with new and different ways to put off writing a paper is merely part of the process.
Color coordinating assignments in your planner that you should be working on, downloading songs and eating are just a few common ways to waste time. But now, as we’re overwhelmed with advancing technology, procrastination has become interactive. So now, as I think of things to write, I take a break. I open my web browser, type in four letters and my computer already brilliantly knows where to take me.
I’ve been poked, I have an event invitation and someone who I don’t recall meeting, but is my Facebook friend, recently updated his profile picture. Sound familiar? Sure it does, what’s life without Facebook?
I wrote a story for the Collegiate Times last year about the dangers of Facebook. I spoke to police officers and the PR manager of the site, and they very clearly emphasized that users should access and make use of the site at their own risk. We all know it’s just not students who can access the site. Potential employers have the means to check on prospective employees even before a preliminary interview. So why would you post a picture of yourself doing something shame-worthy? Don’t understand how you’re friend found out you were talking to his or her boyfriend or girlfriend? Perhaps it was that infamous wall post. Wake up and smell the stalking, everyone’s doing it.
Imagine explaining to your parents that you’re upset because someone posted a rude comment on your wall. They would have absolutely no idea what you were talking about. Of course our generation would understand, but now, as Facebook quickly progresses, I find myself becoming a little lost among the lingo. What exactly is a poke, what are the point of notes, when did the fact that my roommate posted pictures two hours ago become “News?”
There seems to be a trend for updating profile pictures. You’re either a person who constantly updates your picture or does it once a year. Whatever your fancy, why post a picture of yourself at the age of five? Thank you for informing me that you were cute 15 years ago.
Along with youthful documentation, why make your profile picture one with yourself holding alcohol? Wonderful, you drink. In fact, unlike you, the rest of the demographic that uses Facebook has never seen a bottle of beer, so thank you for showing the rest of us.
Religious affiliation, sexual orientation and political association are undoubtedly personal ways to identify oneself. If you so choose identify away, just know you’re informing a world of people as well.
Facebook is essentially an interactive journal of your college endeavors. Posted pictures and messages are often made up of the greatest and most memorable moments of your life, but just remember, while it’s fun for you and your friends to view, there are thousands of other people enjoying your antics as well.
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