The Super Bowl is one of the greatest spectacles in professional sports. An epic showdown between two of the (presumably) best teams in the game, sacrificing their bodies and laying it all on the line, all for the glory of winning. Sure it's great, but what if your team doesn't make it? Maybe you're like me and your team made the playoffs but played the worst second half you've ever seen and dropped a sure win to a team that played like the Little Giants in the first half. Or perhaps you're a Raiders fan, in which case you probably haven't stopped crying since the season began.
In any case, unless you were rooting for the Colts or the Bears, the "Big Game" probably didn't carry the same weight that it would've if your team had made it. So what, you might ask, do you watch come Super Bowl Sunday? Easy. The commercials.
Super Bowl commercials are a tradition as sacred as the game itself, the ad-space for which is some of the most coveted and expensive in the world. CBS, the host of this year's Super Bowl, charged as much as 2.6 million dollars for a 30-second ad, a record amount that will no doubt be surpassed during next year's game.
Since these ads are such significant investments, companies no doubt try to put together the best spot that they can. Some succeed, and some don't, but there is no doubt that for better or worse, Super Bowl ads still provide worthwhile entertainment during breaks in the gridiron action.
The ads during this year's Super Bowl were on the whole, a little bit disappointing. There were no Terry Tate Office Linebackers, Budweiser Frogs, or Ridley Scott-directed dystopian Apple Computer commercials to thrill us between plays, but there were a few ads that served their purpose.
Not surprisingly, the Budweiser Corp. carried the day with their witty, well-crafted and always ingenious ads. Budweiser whetted our comedic whistles with an early ad featuring a pair of friends competing in a game of rock, paper, scissors to determine who would get the last Bud Light. One man threw paper, the other threw a rock, literally, striking his opponent in the head and winning the competition and the Bud Light, by default.
Another Bud ad featuring alleged comedian Carlos Mencia teaching a group of non-English speakers how to barter for Bud Light was hilarious, but no thanks to Mencia, who never ceases to inspire annoyance wherever he goes. The real credit there goes to the class, whose humorous accents and inability to properly pronounce "Bud Light" solicited uncontrollable giggles across the board.
The rest of the Bud commercials brought on similar laughs, with the exception of one featuring the recently un-retired Jay-Z and Hall of Fame coach Don Shula engaged in some sort of virtual football game. It was supposed to be more dramatic than funny, and even though it was sort of cheesy, it still gets a free pass because anything featuring Young Hov is ok in my book.
As is usually the case, the Coca-Cola Corp. flexed its financial muscle with a series of high-budget ads that were good, but did not come close to matching the greatness of ads from previous years. The best out of the bunch of Coca-Cola ads was a parody of the popular video game series "Grand Theft Auto." The epic one-minute spot began with a digital protagonist driving erratically through crowded city streets, seemingly hell-bent on destruction. It soon changed pace as the digital character began spreading a message of peace, love and understanding as only Coke could, culminating in a grand song and dance finish that would be worthy of any Busby Berkeley production. The main gripe with this year's Coke ads was that many of them were screened in theaters before the Super Bowl, leaving some viewers with an acute feeling of commercial déjà vu.
Another enjoyable ad was for the Garmin Personal Navigation System. This was one of those ads that people had no way of preparing for. Complete with a cheesy heavy metal band and comedic combat straight from a Power Rangers episode, this ad definitely left a lasting impression.
One of the most hyped ads coming into this year's Super Bowl came from Nationwide, who added another ad to their popular "Life Comes at You Fast" campaign. The ad featured noted loser Kevin Federline, ex-husband of an equally destitute Britney Spears, living it up in a rap video, only to have the camera pan out and capture Federline dancing and admiring his own image in the television while working the deep-fryer at a fast food joint. Followed by Nationwide's trademark line, laughter was bountiful, but it still didn't change the fact that K-Fed is the biggest doofus in Hollywood.
More entertaining ads came from Careerbuilders.com, whose depictions of office life in a brutal jungle were brilliant at first, but began to wear thin as time went on. A Taco Bell ad featuring a pair of lions practicing the art of the rolling "r" was somewhat humorous, but the talking animal thing was overdone when Homeward Bound came out.
FedEx threw their hat into the ring with a commercial that took place on a "moon office." This commercial was funny but only if you could get past the commercial's complete disregard for the laws of physics.
Just like every other year, there were a slew of bad ads, some bordering on terrible. Among these were the numerous spots produced by Chevrolet. These big budget monstrosities gave the impression that Chevy was trying way too hard to be hip and funny, and they ended up failing miserably at both. Sorry Chevy, you lose.
An advertisement for the Schick Quattro left me wondering if that company ever wants to sell a razor again, and Flomax's depiction of old age made me want to kill myself.
There were also a number of vapid movie trailers, foremost among these being the trailer for "Wild Hogs," which appeared to be a mid-life crisis version of "Easy Rider." After watching the trailer, I can honestly say that I would rather go through a real-life version of the movie "SAW" than watch "Wild Hogs."
Perhaps the greatest advertisement of the night came during the Super Bowl Halftime Show. Prince's impassioned performance in the midst of a rain-soaked Miami night inspired me, and I'm sure countless others to go out and immediately purchase "Purple Rain," the performance of which during the show was nothing short of awe inspiring.
With another NFL season in the books, it's going to be hard to go back to the pointless, annoying advertisements that we see 364 days out of the year. But like every team that didn't make it to this year's Big Game, we are just going to have to wait until next year.